BITTER MEMORIES: A Memoir of Heartache & Survival by Sue Julsen, Gary McCluskey Page B

three boys were sitting around me whispering when I heard Ron say, “Of course she’s not dead, stupid! See, she’s moving.”
    “Come on, kids! Time for dinner!” Ellie yelled.
    I tried to sit up, but a white-faced Ron grabbed the back of my neck. His voice, shaky, said, “Don’t think about telling anyone what you did, or I’ll sneak into your room and slit your throat from ear to ear. Understand?” 
    Trembling, I nodded. I felt weak all over. Lying on the ground, I felt sick.
    “Hurry up and get dressed so we can eat!” Ron glared at me a long moment, then added, “And, remember kid, I will slit your throat if you tell.”
    I’d watched everything that had happened with my protectors, and Ron’s voice didn’t sound threatening at all. He even sounded scared! At the door of the tent he stopped to look back at me. Some of the color had returned to his face, but his eyes still held an eerie, almost ghostly look. Without another word he ran out of the tent following his brothers, leaving me alone to get dressed.
    It felt like someone had kicked me in the stomach; I hurt all over. I didn’t want to move, but I also didn’t want anyone to see me like I’d been left. I tried to stand, but my legs collapsed. I fell to the ground, and cried. 
    When I could stand, I dressed, then hobbled, little by little, toward the house. My stomach really hurt. I hoped to get past everyone, unseen, and to my room, but Daddy saw me come in the door.
    “Sarah!” he exclaimed. “What in the world happened?”
    Out of the corner of my eye I saw Ron put his hand to his neck and make like a cutting motion. “Nothing, Daddy. I fell down, that’s all. I’ll be okay when I get cleaned up.”
    “You sure, baby? Do you want some help?”
    “No! No, I’m fine, but I just wanna go to sleep. I’m not hungry.”
    “You haven’t eaten since yesterday, Sarah. You sure you don’t want to get cleaned up, then come back down for dinner?”
    “I’m sure, Daddy. Can I go to my room? Please?” My voice and my eyes pleaded with him.
    “Okay. If that’s what you want. I’ll check on you later.” When Daddy finished talking to me he went back to the living room, leaving me to hobble up the steps alone.
    While Daddy had been talking to me, Uncle Frank talked to his oldest son, and from Frank’s expression, he seemed shocked at the state I’d returned in. I could tell he was questioning Ron about what happened. 
    “…only what you’d do, Dad,” Ron whispered just loud enough for me to hear.
    However, I didn’t hear him tell about the scare they’d had, or what had happened to cause that scare. 
    “All three of you!?” Frank blurted out in alarm.
    I moved slowly up the stairs so I could hear what else was being said. 
    “Well, yeah. We all got our rocks off,” he lied. “I got off twice.” Another lie.
    “That’s my boy! I’m proud of ya, kid. But next time, wait ‘til I get my chance with the little whore first. I’ll have to wait days before I can stick it to her.”
    “Sorry, Dad. I guess we got carried away, but we didn’t stick it to her.”
    “You didn’t? She looks like a truck ran over her! What did you do?”
    “Nothing really, but she sucks good! That’s all we did, Dad. Honest!” Ron forced a smile. “She did fall down in the tent. I think she hit her gut on the frame of the cot, but we didn’t hurt her!”
    “Well, I’m glad of that!” He scratched his chin; then his ass. “I guess I can get a good suckin’ from her. Don’t have to bone her tonight since your Mom gave me a good ‘un last night,” Frank said with a roguish grin, then headed toward the living room.
    “Go for it Dad!” Ron yelled out as his dad vanished around the corner. He looked at his brothers, and a big grin crossed his lips. Then he laughed. “Don’t worry, he won’t be asking anymore questions. We won’t have to tell anything else that happened out there,” Ron told them.
    “Besides, how can we explain what