BITTER MEMORIES: A Memoir of Heartache & Survival by Sue Julsen, Gary McCluskey

turned to leave, but Ron grabbed her arm.
    “Sarah, you have to play. If you don’t, I’ll break your arms.” Ron grabbed both of her arms and tightened his grip so much I thought for sure her bones would crumble. 
    “Okay!” she cried. “Let go of me!”
    “Get your clothes off and sit by me,” Ron ordered.
    Polly thought of running out the door, but Greg must’ve read her thoughts and stepped in front of her exit to freedom.
    “Ron, please let me go!” she begged. “I don’t wanna play. I just wanna go to my room.”
    Grabbing her, he squeezed her arms again. “You have to play!” He glared at her for a long moment, then through clinched teeth, said, “Or else….” He squeezed her frail, thin arms tighter than before.
    She looked from boy to boy.
    Greg and Mitch stood in front of the doorway to freedom with big shit-eatin’ grins. Ron, only a head taller than Greg, looked mean as his eyes narrowed with disdain, and the muscle in his right jaw twitched.
    A sickening wave of terror came over her as she watched Ron open and close his fists with such fury it made her skin crawl. She tried to swallow the lump that had formed in her throat, but seeing she had no other choice, she removed her dress, then took a step toward Ron, and sarcastically asked, “What are we playing?” 
    Mitch answered, “We’re playing suck it, baby and whoever makes it shoot first gets a special prize!”
    “Yep! You do me, and Greg does Mitch. Now get over here! On your knees,” Ron ordered.
    Polly held her ground. She felt if she took another step her knees would buckle, but also out of disgust and defiance, she stood still, glaring at each of her soon-to-be abusers.
    Her heart pounded.
    “I said get over here!” Ron’s face grew hot with impatience. “Believe me; I’ll break you in half, kid!” 
    Terror swept over her, but then she felt that floating feeling like I always got with Daddy and Polly drifted away letting another girl a few years older, emerge. She also looked like an older me, but unlike Ann and Polly, this one looked mean. 
    She reluctantly moved closer and knelt down in front of Ron. He grabbed the back of her head, and forced her closer to him, laughing.
    Daddy had taught my protectors how to do what Ron demanded, but he’d never been rough with them like Ron.
    She whispered, “T his is what we fuckin’ got excited about!”
    I recognized her voice from hearing her talking earlier, but I didn’t know her name. Her face hardened as she glared at Ron with a scorching look.
    “God, is Sarah right? Don’t You care about us? Why won’t You help Jean? Help us? Please, make him stop !” Polly whispered.
    They thought only grown-ups could be so cruel, but evidently, they’d been wrong. If they’d only known the boys were going to make me do these perverted acts, they never would’ve allowed me to go into the tent.
    Jean knew her only purpose of being born was to help the others protect me from all the scumbag men we crossed paths with, but she didn’t know that would include adolescent creeps, too. In order to get through the abuse, she disconnected her thoughts from what Ron was making her do.
    When it was finally over Mitch and Greg sat laughing, and Ron fell back on the cot, laughing. Jean felt humiliated and ashamed, and tried to leave the tent. 
    With a smirk, Ron grabbed her wrist. “Oh no, you don’t! You won the prize, kid. Now you have to do my brothers.”
    “Yeah! Me first!” Greg moved forward.
    “I just wanna go to my room!” Jean pleaded and tried to pull away, but again, Ron tightened his grasp until she felt he’d crush her bones.
    “I’ll break it, kid. Believe me—I will break it if you don’t do as I say.”
    Jean didn’t move.
    I watched in fear as she stood and stared at her attackers. I, as well as my protectors, hated the boys, and what the perverts were making her do, but what choice did she have? If she didn’t do as told, we truly believed Ron would break my