Blinding Trust by Jennifer Foor

this. I hate when things happen that we can’t control. I’m here if you need anything.
    I know. I think I just needed someone to tell me that I wasn’t just being a selfish bitch.
    You aren’t. You have raised that child as your own. You have every right to be concerned and feel what you feel.
    Thanks, Amy. I better get off of here. I have a doctor’s appointment this morning.
    Okay. I hope your day gets better. Love ya!
    Love you, too.
    It took me no time at all to get a shower and leave for my doctor’s appointment. I had avoided going and rescheduled my annual pap test for two months. Just the thought of those cold metal forceps spreading me open made me cringe. I think my mind made it much worse than it actually was. At any rate, I still hated getting it done.
    The waiting room was filled with pregnant women. I thought about Amy being pregnant and even considered missing that feeling. Then I remembered child birth and even what Miranda had gone through. After having the twins, Miranda had her tubes tied. It was to prevent her having to go through a dangerous pregnancy. I don’t think she cared. They had three healthy children and the boys were a huge handful anyway. Ty never complained about not being able to have any more children. They were always on the same page in their marriage. Sometimes, I envied that so much, especially considering what I was going through at the moment.
    When they called my name to come back, I felt that tense feeling in the pit of my stomach. The nurse showed me to my room and pointed to the sheet that I was supposed to strip down and put over my naked body. As she walked out, I turned and looked at the stirrups that my feet would soon be in.
    I thought about the doctor and how many vaginas that he must look at in a single day. I didn’t know what kind of person would want that job. Sure, some women were probably attractive, but most were older and had given birth. I don’t know about them, but my vagina never looked how it did before I had kids. Colt never complained, but I was certain it had changed.
    My doctor was in his forties. He was a nice man who always talked about family and hobbies while doing the exams. I appreciated that he talked about his wife and kids, but at the same time, he was still looking deep into my vagina.
    Maybe I had so much on my mind that focusing on one thing was the way I was trying to cope. Either way, when he stepped into the room and stuck his cold hands under the sheet to feel my breasts, I immediately felt uncomfortable.
    It didn’t help that I’d just read this erotic thriller about a doctor that seduced his patients. My mind was making me think crazy things and all I wanted to do was get dressed and get out of there.
    At first, I thought it was my imagination that he was spending way too much time massaging my left breast. His eyes were focused on the wall and it didn’t seem to be turning him on at all. “Savanna, I’m going to send you to the diagnostic center to get a mammogram. I’m feeling something out of the ordinary and I just want to check it to be on the safe side.”
    “I’m not even old enough . Is it really necessary?”
    “I don’t think it’s anything you have to worry about, but let’s get a better look at it.”
    “Should I be worried?” I didn’t want anything to be wrong.
    “No. I don’t think it’s anything. I just want to be sure.”
    After documenting his findings in his computer, he shut the laptop. “The front desk will give you the paperwork to have the test done. If you can, try and schedule it when you leave today. It usually takes a couple of weeks to get an appointment.”
    I was so shaken up that I almost forgot to pick up the paperwork at the front desk. I knew my doctor said not to worry, but it was hard not to. I sat in the SUV and felt around for the whatever it was he felt. When I couldn’t feel anything out of the ordinary, it made me feel a little better. I was sure it was going to turn out