Breaking East by Bob Summer

sacrifice idiots like you for the sake of the movement. You’re a liability.
    I wanted to cry.
    I turned the phone off to save the battery and wandered back to the hut. Everything had spun clean out of control. And so fast. I sat next to Stuart. ‘Without Joe on my side I’ve got nobody.’ I hadn’t intended to say it aloud.
    ‘You’re not alone,’ said Stuart. ‘You’ve got me.’
    ‘No offence, but I’m not sure that’s going to help me much.’
    ‘Well, offence taken. You could at least try me?’
    And so I told him. I told him how I was supposed to be looking out for him. How I’d been such a crummy best friend Fran had hung herself and that’s why I’d taken my eye off the ball and Gemma got taken away. How I’d been such a numbsky to not report Gold-tooth while I had the chance – before he took Gemma. How mad Joe was at me, even let him listen to the messages, I left nothing out and told him all of it. He sat with his legs bent, elbows on his knees looking out to sea. He didn’t interrupt and waited until I finished before he said, ‘You were sent by the resistance to spy on me?’
    ‘Look out for you,’ I said. ‘It’s different.’
    ‘Course it is. I wondered why you were being so helpful .’
    I had no defence and I put my head in my hands. It all made me want to curl up and switch the world off.
    ‘And,’ he said, ‘you knew that guy was looking for kids.’
    ‘Not Gemma. And not exactly. I just knew there was something dodgy about him. I got instincts.’
    ‘Yeah, you said.’
    ‘She’s your sister.’ I wanted to bite the words back.
    ‘Yeah, she is.’ He looked beyond furious. ‘And what about that Red you keep riding around with, what’s that about?’
    ‘He’s got this idea I’m up to no good. He seems to be keeping an extra close eye on me for some reason.’
    ‘So let’s just clarify the situation here,’ Stuart tilted his head, faking a polite interested look. ‘Right now we’re under the special interest of a Red, the head of Basley resistance would like a word, and we’ve robbed the office of an ISS approved agent. Anything else I should know about?’
    I thought it safest to say nothing.
    ‘And,’ he said again – there were an awful lot of ands - ‘You lied to me.’
    ‘No. I just didn’t tell you everything.’
    ‘Same thing. All that crap about trust and instincts.’ He stood up. ‘I’m going for another swim.’ And he strode towards the water flinging his tee shirt into the sand but, this time, left his shorts on.
    I considered leaving. Letting him come out of the water and finding me gone. But the beach was unfamiliar, we could have been anywhere and, well, where and who would I go to? The only advice came from within - Dad, Think positive, Atty . Yeah, right.
    When Stuart came out of the sea he sat next to me, knees bent, relaxed and easy. ‘This,’ he said nodding at the sea, ‘is my favourite place in the world. Whenever anything gets too much, this is where I come.’ He looked into my eyes. ‘Nothing is ever as bad as all that when you’re sat right here.’ He pointed at the sand between his feet.
    ‘Ah okay,’ I said. It was only a pile of sand - sand, sea and sky. Whoopy doo.
    ‘I hope when I die, not only for it to be in my sleep, but here, with sand between my toes and salt in my eyelashes.’ He looked deep into my head. ‘It’s not working for you, is it?’
    I shrugged. ‘Mm. I’m not against the idea.’ The cold coming off his skin cooled my arm and I smelt the sea in his hair. It made me feel grubby as a bin bag.
    ‘I’ve been thinking,’ he said. ‘If everybody is cheesed off at us at least we know where we stand, right? It means that we know the only people we can rely on is us. Nobody else. Now, I know we might not be a lot, but I reckon we’re enough. Between us, we can find Gemma and Fran’s baby and bring them home. Joe will be so impressed he’ll forgive you for everything. In fact, he’ll promote you.