Captain Nobody by Dean Pitchford

top of my head. “When the doctors say it’s okay, you’ll be the first one through the door.”
    â€œThanks,” I whispered.
    â€œAnd now I’ve got a question,” he said as he stood. “Do you go to sleep dressed like that?”
    â€œDad.” I rolled my eyes. “Of course not. Even Captain Nobody needs to rest once in a while.”
    â€œAnd does Captain Nobody ever give his dad a good-night hug?”
    I wrapped my arms around him and squeezed real hard. “Tell me if I’m crushing you.”
    Dad laughed for the first time all night.

    I dropped off to sleep and dreamed about the Big Tackle again, only this time, I came to my brother’s rescue. Just as Chris was diving over the goal line with both teams stampeding behind him, I raced into the end zone dressed as Captain Nobody, held up both hands and shouted, “Ollie ollie oxen STOP! ” All twenty-one players froze, some of them in midair. Once Chris had a chance to walk off the field and was safe, I snapped my fingers, and they all dropped in a heap on the ground. Then I yelled, “Pizza for everyone!” About a thousand pizzas got delivered, and everybody in the stadium got a slice.
    I don’t really understand that last part.

14
    IN WHICH CERTAIN THREATS ARE MADE

    It’s kind of amazing how quickly people can get used to new ideas. The next day at school, you’d have thought I’d been Captain Nobody since kindergarten. I still got a few stares in the hallways, but nobody made fun of me on the playground. When I raised my hand in class, Mrs. Young called on me by saying, “Yes, Captain Nobody?” And nobody snickered.
    At noon, on the playground, I came up behind Cecil as he was explaining to JJ how to operate her walkie-talkie.
    â€œYou push this button here, you talk into here, and all you have to say is ‘Come quick, Captain Nobody!’”
    â€œWait a minute!” I interrupted. “What are you calling me for now?”
    â€œIt’s just in case,” Cecil explained.
    â€œI’ll only call if it’s a real, true emergency,” JJ said. “I swear.”
    â€œIf it’s a real, true emergency,” I said, “you’d better call 911.”
    Cecil scowled. “ Anybody can do that.” He held up his walkie-talkie. “The three of us have our own, highly specialized communication network. Speaking of which, what’s up with yours, Captain?”
    I pulled the unit out of my backpack. “Nothing. Why?”
    â€œLast night when I called? It sounded like you were at the bottom of the ocean.”
    â€œI don’t know.” I shrugged innocently. “This morning I turned it on, and it’s good to go.”
    â€œGreat!” he declared. “So, now we gotta check that we’re on the same channel.” He pointed to two corners of the school yard. “Let’s spread out and run a test.”
    I leaned over to tell JJ, “And be sure to say ‘over’ when you’re done talking, otherwise Cecil gets very upset.”
    JJ laughed, but Cecil just smacked me on the shoulder. “Get out there!” he ordered.
    JJ went to one end of the playground, and I headed to the other, where a football game was in progress.
    My walkie-talkie crackled. “Cecil, can you hear me?” It was JJ, who quickly added, “Over.”
    â€œI read you loud and clear,” Cecil answered. “And Captain Nobody? Are you hearing this? Over.”
    I pressed the button and was about to respond when suddenly a football boinked! me on the back of the head. I dropped to one knee.
    â€œOw!” I complained, rubbing my scalp.
    â€œWhat’s the matter? Aren’t you supposed to be tougher than steel?”
    I looked up. A hulking seventh-grader glowered down at me. Under one massive arm he held the football that had just bounced off my skull. Behind him, a posse of his classmates stood, arms