Carpe Diem by Rae Matthews

wallet and place it in the hole. Covering the hole with the loose dirt, I whisper, “You will always be a part of me, and I a part of you. I leave a piece of us here to mark the adventure we should have been able to take together.”

A fter our awesome skydiving adventure, Abby and Flynn drop me off at home. They both offered to come in, but I think it is time for me to have some alone time. I know what is waiting for me when I get in there and I don’t want them hanging around wanting to talk about it.
    I cross my entryway and toss my purse onto the coffee table. It’s strange how fast you get used to an empty house. The noises it makes that you never paid any attention to before, the way the floor squeaks when you step on the boards that have come slightly loose. I never used to pay attention to things like that, not like I didn’t know the sounds, but when you are home alone, knowing that no one else will be joining you, the sounds are much different than they used to be.
    As I round the corner into the kitchen, I see the pieces of the red coffee mug still lying scattered on the floor. I kneel down and start picking up the larger pieces and place them on the counter. The smaller ones I sweep up with the broom and dispose of them in the garbage.
    After putting the broom back, I walk over to the counter where I had laid the rest. Standing over them, I contemplate what I should do with them. Should I throw them away? Should I try to glue them back together, or should I put them in a baggy and put them in a drawer?
    “This is silly,” I say to myself. “I have lost my damn mind,” I add.
    I slide the pieces into my hand and while shaking my head at my craziness, I walk over to the garbage to toss them in. As I open the lid to the garbage, I’m frozen. I cannot bring myself to do the sane thing and throw them away.
    “Why is this so damn hard? It was a freaking cup?”
    Before my mind can talk my body out of it, I place the broken pieces back on the counter. Run to the living room, grab my purse, and grab my keys. I am in my car pulling out of my driveway before I know it. I know I should not be doing this, I know I said the last time would be the last time. I’m not sure why there was a first time. It is actually kind of sick and twisted. Why would anyone do this to themselves? It can’t help. It can only make things worse for me. Yet I find myself doing this at least once a week. I need to stop, I have to stop, it is not healthy.
    Although I tried to talk myself out of it, I still find myself pulling into the large parking lot I have come to know. Without thinking, I turn off the car and start heading for the door. I nod to the woman leaving as I hold the door for her. The same ugly gray and blue carpet greets me as I walk toward the elevator.
    I know I should turn around and leave, this is not right. If I can’t tell Abby or Casey what I have been doing then, I shouldn’t be doing it. I no more think Casey’s name and I hear her voice.
    “Piper!”
    I turn to see Casey is walking toward me. Shit, what do I tell her, how can I explain why I am here… why is she here?
    “Hey, what are you doing here?” I ask in the peppiest voice I can muster.
    “Some jerk tripped at a house I was showing him and his wife was threatening to sue the sellers, so I brought him in for an x-ray to prove there was nothing wrong with him other than a scraped palm. Asshole,” she explains.
    “Wow, some people are out for only themselves.”
    “I know it is freaking sad. So what are you doing here…wait. How was today?” she asks with excitement.
    Here is my chance, my chance to distract her with the details of my recent skydive. I quickly start talking and slowly start walking us to the door. She is so mesmerized by the story she has all but forgotten I didn’t tell her why I was at the hospital.
    In what seems like forever, I have spilled every last drop of detail I can think in time for us to approach my car. I have my keys