Changing Everything by Molly McAdams Page A

2013
    Paisley
    I STARED AT the ocean; my entire body felt numb as I tried to think through what I wanted. I’d been on my way to Brett’s to talk to him when I ran into Eli, sure that I would tell Brett I wanted to continue a relationship with him. But now I was back to not being sure of anything. Neither seemed like the better choice, and, still, neither seemed like the obvious choice. There was nothing wrong with Brett other than he wasn’t Eli, and while I couldn’t use the years of Eli breaking my heart against him, I could use the past few weeks.
    Like I’d told him, no matter how much I wanted to believe his words now, I couldn’t. While they were more than I’d ever wanted from him, there was still that fear that he was saying everything because he didn’t want to lose his best friend.
    I sat there for hours with my arms wrapped tightly around my waist as I tried to hold myself together, and fought with myself over who I couldn’t live without.
    In a daze, I stood from my spot and walked back to my car before driving to Brett’s. I still didn’t know who I would choose. All I knew was the way I’d felt when I’d seen Eli walking toward me this morning, and how much it had hurt to walk away from him. As I walked to Brett’s door, I told myself that I’d know who I couldn’t live without the moment I saw him, and then I would make my choice.
    Knocking on his door, I took calming breaths as I waited for him to answer. Part of me was afraid to find out who I wanted to spend the rest of my life with—but I knew I couldn’t continue to do this to them or myself.
    “Hey,” Brett said as he opened the door.
    Looking into his worried green eyes, the pressure was already lessening on my chest—making it easier to breathe. Like it always did, the pain from being near Eli was slowly fading as I stood in front of Brett. And I knew that I’d somehow fallen in love with this man in a matter of weeks, no matter how insane that seemed.
    And I also knew I had my answer.
    A sharp cry burst from my chest and I slapped my hand over my mouth to quiet it, and understanding covered his face.
    “Oh, Paisley,” he whispered. Wrapping his arms around my shoulders, he pulled me into his chest as he shut the door behind us.
    September 21, 2013
    Eli
    I GOT UP from where I’d spent the last five hours lying on the couch and walked slowly into the kitchen. I knew I should probably eat, but nothing sounded good. I’d talked to Jason a couple hours ago, and since I knew Paisley wasn’t with Kristen, that only left one other person I could think she’d spend a Saturday with.
    And it was killing me.
    I wanted to go wait at her apartment so I could try to talk to her again, but even Kristen and Jason thought it was a bad idea. They thought it was time I started backing off. I knew they were right; I just wasn’t ready to admit it.
    Opening the fridge, I grabbed a beer and turned to walk back to the couch, but stopped when a knock sounded on my door. I stood there staring at it for a few moments while I tried to figure out if I should answer or act like I wasn’t here.
    I didn’t need Jason telling me how much I’d fucked up again. I already knew.
    When the knock came again, I set the beer down on the table and walked over to the door. Unlocking and opening it without bothering to see who it was, I froze when I saw Paisley standing there, tears streaming down her face.
    “Pay—”
    “Please tell me I made the right decision in choosing you.”
    “What?” I asked on a breath, and curled my arms around her when she crushed her body to mine.
    She swallowed roughly and looked up at me. “I can live without him—I can’t live without you.”
    A smile pulled at my lips for the first time in weeks, and then I did something I should have done long ago. Bending low, I brought my face within a breath of hers to whisper, “I love you, Paisley Morro.” before pressing my lips to hers.
    Her arms slowly moved around my neck,