Cheaters Anonymous by Lacey Silks

limbs grew weaker and my chest sweated at the thought. Oh, God, how much I wanted to feel his width and length plunge deep inside me and for Scar to bury himself to the hilt! I’d been dreaming about this moment almost every night for the past six years. But what would happen afterward? I didn’t even know how not to walk out of the room once I was done having sex.
    “But I won’t touch you without your permission. I will not fuck this up, and as much as I want to get down on my knees and underneath this table, take off those purple panties so that I can taste you, I won’t until I’m worthy of you.”
    You have my permission! I looked behind me to see whether the lace band had come above my pants, and of course it had. When had he even noticed that?
    “Scar, I thought you didn’t do relationships.”
    “I never have. I’m not sure I know how to be in one. But I would try for you.”
    “I don’t know if I can give you what you want.” I stood up and started clearing the dishes, placing them in the sink. I was so scared of this. Once we slept together, there would be no turning back. During the past six years I hadn’t slept with the same man more than once. Could I do so with Scar? Would I be strong enough to give us a chance? I felt like I was already screwing things up. Relationships shouldn’t start with the couple contemplating how many times they could or could not sleep with each other. They should begin on a deeper level. Much deeper. Between my legs deeper.
    Stop it!
    I leaned against the counter, my legs twitch with impatience underneath me.
    “I know exactly what I want, and I’m willing to do everything to get it.” I felt Scar behind me before I even heard him. He gently grasped my hand and pulled me around to face him. He had a hungry look in his eyes, his gaze skimming over my body, heating it from the bottom to top. “You, Jules. I’ve wanted you every night and every day for the past six years. Except that I know I can’t have you – at least not until I figure some stuff out. At this moment, I don’t know how to make us happen without hurting you. But I’m willing to try, even if it will take a century to get there. The last thing I want is to see that pain in your eyes, the same one you probably had when I left Colorado. So please believe me when I say we’ll take things slow. I mean it.”
    Damn it. I was afraid my lady parts would rust if I had to wait that long for him to be inside me.
    “Scar, I don’t date. I can’t date. I’m not ready. Just being near you is difficult.” My mouth moved on instinct. While I knew I wasn’t ready, I totally didn’t mean any of it.
    He lifted both his hands to my shoulders, his fingers massaging my bare skin. One of the straps of my tank top fell down my arm.
    “We’d take it slow.” His sweet breath teased me as I imagined his tongue trailing all over my body. His whispered words had a completely different meaning to him than they did to me, because my thoughts always revolved around sex. ‘Taking it slow’ meant titillating me at an arousingly lazy pace.
    “Why is being close to me difficult for you?”
    What?
    “I’m not sure what I’m supposed to feel. I’m afraid that I’ll fall back on old habits. It’s hard to make a distinction between the normal and unhealthy for me.”
    “You mean sleeping with me once, for pleasure only? Using me? Thinking that after one night I would walk away?” His mouth curved up slightly. Did he even know how sexy he looked? I felt my belly thrum with excitement.
    “I’m more afraid that I’d walk away.”
    “I wouldn’t let you leave that easily, Jules. If there’s one thing I do know about myself, it’s that I’m one persistent son of a bitch.”
    That was true.
    “What if we screw it up?” I asked.
    “We won’t know unless we try. Jules, all I need to know is that you want this as much as I do and that you’re willing to give us a chance. Leave the rest to me. I’m going to