retorted with a laugh and never obeyed them, but we did not take offenceâwe were satisfied to show our solicitude for her.
Often she asked us to do things for her. She would, for instance, ask us to open a refractory door in the cellar or chop some wood, and we would gladly and with a peculiar pride do these things for her and anything else she asked.
But when one of us asked her to mend his only shirt, she sniffed scornfully and said:
âCatch me! Not likely!â
We enjoyed a good laugh at the silly fellowâs expense, and never again asked her to do anything. We loved herâand there all is said. A man always wants to foist his love on somebody or other, though it frequently oppresses, sometimes sullies, and his love may poison the life of a fellow creature, for in loving he does not respect the object of his love. We had to love Tanya, for there was no one else we could love.
At times one of us would suddenly begin to argue something like this:
âWhatâs the idea of making such a fuss over the kid? Whatâs there so remarkable about her anyway?â
Weâd soon brusquely silence the fellow who spoke like thatâwe had to have something we could love: we found it, and loved it, and what we twenty-six loved stood for each of us, it was our holy of holies, and anybody who went against us in this matter was our enemy. We love, perhaps, what is not really good, but then there are twenty-six of us, and we therefore want the object of our adoration to be held sacred by others.
Our love is no less onerous than hate ... and, perhaps, that is why some stiff-necked people claim that our hate is more flattering than love.... But why do they not shun us if that is so?
Â
In addition to the pretzel bakehouse our boss had a bun bakery. It was situated in the same house, and only a wall divided it from our hole. The bun bakers, however, of whom there were four, held themselves aloof from us, considered their work cleaner than ours, and themselves, therefore, better men; they never visited our workshop, and treated us with mocking scorn whenever they met us in the yard. Neither did we visit themâthe boss banned such visits for fear we would steal buns. We did not like the bun bakers, because we envied themâtheir work was easier than ours, they got better wages, they were fed better, they had a roomy, airy workshop, and they were all so clean and healthy, and hence so odious. We, on the other hand, were all a yellow grey-faced lot; three of us were ill with syphilis, some were scabby, and one was crippled by rheumatism. On holidays and off-days they used to dress up in suits and creaking high boots, two of them possessed accordions, and all used to go out for a stroll in the park, whilst we were dressed in filthy tatters, with rags or bast shoes on our feet, and the police wouldnât let us into the parkânow, could we love the bun bakers?
And one day we learned that their chief baker had taken to drink, that the boss had dismissed him and taken on another in his place, and that the new man was an ex-soldier who went about in a satin waistcoat and had a watch on a gold chain. We were curious to have a look at that dandy, and every now and then one of us would run out into the yard in the hope of seeing him.
But he came to our workshop himself. Kicking open the door he stood in the doorway, smiling, and said to us:
âHullo! How do you do, boys!â
The frosty air rushing through the door in a smoky cloud eddied round his feet, while he stood in the doorway looking down at us, his large yellow teeth flashing from under his fair swaggering moustache. His waistcoat was indeed uniqueâa blue affair, embroidered with flowers, and all glittering, with buttons made of some kind of red stone. The chain was there too....
He was a handsome fellow, was that soldierâtall, strong, with ruddy cheeks and big light eyes that had a nice look in themâa kind, clean look. On