Conna in Crisis & The Marriage of Ulick by James Kilcullen

of Ulick’s name was like a red rag.
    She raised her voice again. ‘We are the law here, not Mr. Joyc. I’ll have a new Directive issued if necessary.’
    She departed.
    Battler grinned. ‘I’ll have a leg of that free lamb, Maggot.’
    ‘You will in your bollocks.’
    *
    C rat listened to Madame’s report in silence. He was furious that his troops had failed to capture Joyc’s animal.
    ‘I’ll draw up a new Directive for approval by the Commissioner. I’m also asking for more troops.’
    He must be dreaming, she thought; he can’t accommodate the twenty he’s got.
    She smiled and remarked aloud.
    ‘You’re quite right, Director.’
    He continued. ‘The Commissioner is working on a draft wording for a new Directive restricting the enforcement of all Directives to the Director of the day; that will take care of the pompous meddling judges. As it cannot be made retrospective we have to proceed with our appeal to the High Court. I’ll then close down the two offending retail premises.’
    ‘That will leave the town without any grocery outlets?’
    ‘That’s not my problem.’
    She nodded in agreement—she always did.
    ‘What about this butcher fellow who is flaunting our laws?’
    ‘He’s got to go. Draft a wording for a Directive making this form of trading illegal.’
    ‘Should I close down this business in the meantime?’
    He paused. ‘Best not—wait until you have the new Directive.’
    She changed the subject.
    ‘What are you going to do about Joyc’s animal?’
    He paused.
    ‘The Directives could take some time; they have to be approved by the council. I’ll issue proceedings against Joyc. He has no defence. That fool of a judge will have no option but to apply the mandatory sentence.’
    She wasn’t so sure. ‘This man is very popular around here; he was once President of this country.’
    He grunted sourly.
    ‘Another grafting politician. He’s nobody. I’m the one with the power, and the sooner he realises that the better.’
    *
    M adame timed it well; she marched down the street to Ella’s restaurant and shop at eleven in the morning, when many of the locals were having coffee. She charged in through the double doors and confronted Ella who was serving coffee to Sergeant Mick Muldoon.
    ‘In accordance with Directive 758934, I’m closing down these premises forthwith,’ she screamed.
    Silence fell; everyone looked up in surprise. The heavily built elderly Sergeant looked askance at Madame.
    ‘What are you talking about?’ Ella demanded.
    Madame handed her a document. ‘These premises are registered as a restaurant. You are also carrying on business as a retail home bakery. That is contrary to the said directive. These premises will close immediately and remain closed until such time as they are properly registered.’
    The Sergeant rose and approached her.
    ‘Let me see that document,’ he asked calmly.
    Madame turned on him. ‘This is no concern of yours.’
    Ella handed him the document; he perused it and raised his voice so everyone could hear him.
    ‘These or any other premises can only be closed by order of the Circuit court.’
    ‘I do not recognise the Court in these matters,’ she screamed.
    The Sergeant continued calmly. ‘Well, I do and while we still have courts you will too.’
    ‘That won’t be for long,’ she sneered.
    Ella got her breath back. ‘Get out of my premises,’ she ordered.
    She looked a bit uncertain. ‘I’ll be back,’ she vowed.
    Madame returned to the office and reported to the Director. Having refused to visit him in his hotel suite, he now realised that she had no romantic interest in him; that was her loss.
    ‘Did you not check to see if we have the necessary authority?’ he demanded.
    ‘I am going to do that now. Does the new directive taking these matters out of the hands of the courts not apply?’
    ‘Check with the Commissioner.’ He ordered.
    *
    U lick was attracted to Gina; she was so mysterious, elusive and intelligent;