Crash Test Love by Ted Michael

entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part.
    —from Captain Corelli’s Mandolin (2001)

    HENRY
    INT.—MY BEDROOM, FRIDAY NIGHT
    I’d rather talk to people on the computer than in person. In person you have to make eye contact and pretend you’re actual y interested in the conversation. You have to (at empt to) complete your sentences and move the muscles in your face to feign emotion. This is something I’m terrible at. Most people think I’m distant because I assume I’m bet er than they are, but that’s not it at al . I’m distant because I can’t relate, because being around them makes me uncomfortable. This is why I love the Internet. It’s di cult to be detached one-on-one, but AIM makes it easy.
    TheDuke69: dude … skip work and come party
    Enrico2000: no can do
    TheDuke69: all work and no play …
    Enrico2000: someone’s gotta pay the billz
    TheDuke69: u don’t have any billz
    Enrico2000: you know what i mean
    TheDuke69: no i don’t
    TheDuke69: saw u talking 2 Garrett 2day
    Shit. I thought I’d been total y stealth. It’s not anything major—anything other than hel o—but every day since Tuesday, I’ve stopped to acknowledge her presence and prove I’m not a complete asshole. Has anyone else besides Duke noticed?
    TheDuke69: u there?
    Enrico2000: yeah
    TheDuke69: n e thing i should know about?
    Enrico2000: nope
    TheDuke69: ur not like … dating her behind our backs, rite? i’ve never seen u talk 2 a girl u didn’t wanna hook up with b4. unless … u wanna get with her again?
    Again? How about a rst time?
    Enrico2000: it’s nothing like that, okay?
    TheDuke69: u would tell me if there was something going on, rite?
    Enrico2000: of course
    I feel bad lying to Duke, but then again … am I real y lying? Nothing’s going on between Garret and me. Not yet, at least. Even if there were something to report, Duke and Nigel certainly wouldn’t approve, so what’s the point of saying anything at al ?
    TheDuke69: when do u get o tonight?
    Enrico2000: around 11 or so
    TheDuke69: call me l8r. meet me & N at this girl’s party in Sea Cli . Should be krazy!
    Enrico2000: OK OK … i gotta go. Duty calls
    TheDuke69: lata, playa
    INT.—HUNTINGTON CINEMAS
    I get to work early. I’m already wearing my uniform, and I brought a change of clothes in case I decide to meet up with Duke and Nigel. Lately, I haven’t been hanging out with them as much. I don’t necessarily feel bad about this—life happens—but I do miss their company. Being friends with D & N is easy; they don’t expect me to chime in with some incredible insight about shit I don’t care about. They get that I live on Planet Henry most of the time, and leave me alone as long as I let them visit occasional y.
    I check in with Roger, who has me count out one of the cash registers and then heads back to his o ce.
    Garret isn’t here yet, and I relish the time alone. It seems odd that our schedules are more or less the same, but I don’t press her (or Roger) about it. I don’t actual y mind working with her. I’m bothered by my feelings for her, sure, and it would be easier if she weren’t around … but there is something that I undeniably like about her. She’s the rst girl I’ve met who isn’t afraid to tel me how it is. I appreciate that. Girls who agree with everything I say aren’t worth my time. Where’s the chal enge?
    I recognize a few chicks from school waiting in line to buy tickets for one of the foreign lms, Eso No Es Mi Sombrero (That Is Not My Hat).
    They smile at me. I smile back. One of them is cute: short brown hair, clear skin, nice teeth. A freshman.
    ME
    Hey. You go to East Shore, right?

    CUTE FRESHMAN
    (nodding)
    You’re Henry Arlington.
    ME
    That’s what they tell me.
    CUTE FRESHMAN
    (laughing)
    Well, um, one for … the Spanish movie.
    She glances back at her friends, al of whom have turned a bright, embarrassing pink. I’m about to tel her that the ticket is free (just don’t tel