Crazy Maybe by A. D. Justice Page B

in silence until we got to her house.  I was about to ask if I could come in when she suddenly jumped out of my truck. 
    Then she stunned me by asking if I was still going to be in her karaoke skit tomorrow night.  Of course I’m still going to be there for her.  We’ve practiced almost nightly over the past two weeks and she needs me to be in it for it to work the way she planned it.  Why would she think I would back out on her the night before?
    She closed the door and walked off to her front door before I could say another word.  And like a damn mute idiot, I just sat in my truck and watched her walk away.  Brandon’s words suddenly came back to haunt me.  When you lose her, you will be sorry.  I feel like I’m already losing her and I just fucking found her.  The closing of her front door felt like a bad omen – like she was shutting me out. 
    Now I’m alone and can’t get her off my mind.  I can’t just sit here and do nothing when I feel her slipping away from me, so I pick up my phone and text her.
    Still awake, beautiful?
    My phone pings after a few minutes.  I didn’t think she was going to answer at first.
    A:  Yes
    Are you ok?
    A:  Yes
    Enough of the yes or no questions since she’s obviously not elaborating with her answers.
    I wish you were here with me. 
    And I wait again for the ping.
    A:  You have plenty of friends to keep you company.
    I don’t want a friend.
    A:  What do you want then?
    You.

    ANDI
    You?  You?  What the hell does that mean?  Yeah, I know he wants me but that’s just not the same and I can’t do this anymore tonight.  I turn off my phone, put my cold, wet washcloth over my eyes, and wait for sleep to take over.  I finally fall asleep but it’s a fitful sleep and I dream about him all damn night.  At 6 a.m., I’m wide awake so I get up and face the day. 
    Around 8 a.m., I decide to go for a run and work off some of this frustration.  For every time I think of him or about how much his words hurt, I punish myself by running harder.  So, my run today has been pretty brutal because I can’t seem to stop the thoughts.  I know he’s at the gym right now working out and sparring but I couldn’t bring myself to go.  After two hours of running, I’m completely spent from pushing myself on so little sleep last night.  I do a cool-down jog back to my house, taking my time and enjoying the country view.
    When I turn onto my street, my house comes into view and I’m both relieved and disappointed that his truck isn’t parked in my driveway.  To get my mind off my own problems, I decide to spend the rest of the day at the youth center before going to the club tonight.  The karaoke contest officially starts tonight and I’ve planned an elaborate set, so I’ll have to get there early to set up. 
    When I walk in my bedroom, I see my cell phone on my nightstand and realize I never turned it back on this morning.  I power it up and when it’s fully loaded, I see I have several text messages waiting for me.  Sig hing, I tap the icon and see they’re all from Luke.
    But I don’t deserve you.
    I wish I could say how I feel.
    You still awake?
    Sweet dreams, beautiful.
    None of these make me feel any better.  Or tell me where we stand now.  He had no trouble telling Brandon we were only friends and would never be anything more.  That makes it hard for me to believe he couldn’t say we’re more than friends, if he really thought we are.   I have turned this over and over in my mind until I’m dizzy.  I shower, get dressed and head down to the youth center.  Helping the kids always makes me feel better.
    I spend several hours today working with the inner-city youth.  The center offers many different services these kids wouldn’t normally have access to, like tutors for school, coaches for different sports, creative arts, music, computers and anything else we can get instructors to come in and teach.  Most of the kids love it and come here every