Crazy People: The Crazy for You Stories by Jennifer Crusie

down the road, I’d be counting ceiling tiles again. And I thought, “Debbie Headapohl, you have been given a gift here. Ronnie Luterbein just handed you back the rest of your life. Don’t screw up.”
    So I’m not going to, Ronnie. I’m taking my half of the house money (Verna Wachtell says it’ll sell in a minute, no problem, she’s got a couple of live ones already, and you know Verna, never missed a sale yet), and I’m putting a down payment on one of those little condos down by the river (Verna’s getting me a real good deal) and they mow the grass for you there so it’s not a problem. And I imagine Darrin will be dropping by regular to develop my imagination, but he’s not moving in. I’ve been there and done that now, and I don’t see any point in doing it again, no matter what Mama says. Darla said it’s such a good idea that she’s thinking about getting a condo next to mine just to keep Max on his toes, but she won’t. Some women are made to be married, and she’s one of them, and that’s all there is to it.
    So anyway, while I’m not exactly grateful to you for running off like a coward and leaving me to handle this mess, I do think I’m almost glad it happened. And I do think as time goes on I’ll get gladder, only don’t even think about us having one of those friendly divorces where Barbara and I smile and wave on the street because it is not happening. Which reminds me, Ronnie Jr. is still pretty mad at you, but he’s liking running the bowling alley, and he’ll get over it. Becky says she’s coming home and taking all her money out of the First National and telling the manager why, but she’ll get over it, too. Darla won’t, she’s still hoping you’ll die, but then the two of you weren’t ever close anyway. Even Mama’s mad at you now that I showed her your letter, but you probably won’t be running into her much, so I wouldn’t let it bother you. And as for me, well, I don’t like you much, but you are the father of my children, so I guess I don’t hate you. But I have cut you loose from my list of troubles, since I have more than enough without you, the latest one being Mama, who thinks maybe she’d like to move into one of those condos, too, since I’ll be feeling lonely unmarried and all. I told Verna that I’d have to kill Mama if she bought one of those condos, and then Mama’s blood would be on her hands, so Verna told her they were all sold out and is trying to steer her up north to those Tibbett Village apartments, but you know Mama, she usually gets what she wants. Of course, from now on, I’m thinking I’m going to get what I want, too, so we’ll just have to see what happens.
    Anyway, that’s what you missed while you were on vacation. Just wanted you to know.
    Sincerely,
    Debbie

    My agent, Meg, loved this story and sent it to an editor at
Redbook
who said, “We love it but it’s too long.” But they said they’d buy it if I cut about two thirds of it, so I did. Meg said, “If I ever need anybody to do Reader’s Digest Condensed Books, I’m calling you.” If you want to see the short version, go to Appendix B in the back of this collection; the
Redbook
version and another note about the story are there.

I Am At My Sister’s Wedding

    In the early drafts of
Crazy For You
, Quinn had two close friends, Darla and Stephanie. Both had married young, but while Darla had settled into permanency with Max, Stephanie had divorced and remarried, and at the time the book took place, was coming unstuck from her second husband. Stephanie was such a bright, simple character that I couldn’t get a grip on her, so I wrote this story about the arc of her life and marriages, seen through the eyes of her practical and disapproving younger sister. In the process, the story turned out to really be about Caroline, the sister, a much more interesting character to write, but it also did what it was supposed to do: it gave me closure on what was going to happen to