CXVI The Beginning of the End (Book 1): A Gripping Murder Mystery and Suspense Thriller (CXVI BOOK 1) by Angie Smith Page B

difference was in our choice in men. And that was Shelly’s downfall.”
    “You said your former colleague killed her and got
away with it. I don’t understand; wasn’t there a police investigation?”
    “Shelly committed suicide.” She paused for several
moments and looked vacant, “she was twenty-two and they’d been lovers;
basically he used her, broke her heart and she could no longer cope.”
    Rosco nodded. “The suicide of a loved one can have a
huge impact on those left behind,” he conceded. “Feelings of guilt, and shame,
rejection and sometimes anger are very common. Did you experience these?”
    “Yes, probably all of them at first, but then some
diminished and left me with guilt, anger and hatred, which I still feel today.”
    “So, is it your former colleague’s actions that
drive your feelings of anger and hatred?”
    “Yes, definitely.”
    “But what drives the guilt?”
    “It was my fault they met,” she said, noticing him
looking expectantly over the top of his spectacles again. “Shelly came to stay
with us over the Christmas period,” she continued. “It was my work’s party and
I invited her along. She bumped into him there. I didn’t know they’d started
dating, otherwise I would have put a stop to it straight away. That’s one of my
biggest regrets. Anyway, eventually she told me, but by then they’d been seeing
each other for about six months and she was head over heels in love with him.”
    “Perhaps she thought you wouldn’t approve; that’s
why she kept it from you for so long.”
    “Perhaps… but I didn’t keep anything from her…” she broke
off for a moment, “well, just one thing… sorry where was I?” She glanced up and
again he was appraising her over the top of his glasses. “We’ll save that
particular demon for another day,” she said.
    “So you feel responsible for what happened?”
    “Partly, if I hadn’t invited her to the Christmas
party she wouldn’t have met him.”
    “No, but you didn’t have a crystal ball.”
    “I tried to warn her off him. I’d told her he was
married and that he wasn’t any good for her, but she said he’d promised to
leave his wife. She was besotted with him. She wouldn’t listen.”
    “Would you have listened if she’d tried to warn you
off Gerrard?”
    “No, but Gerrard wasn’t a bastard.”
    “No doubt at the time Shelly though the same about
her lover.”
     “Perhaps,” Pauline acknowledged.
    “So you invited her to the Christmas party for all
the right reasons, and not being able to see into the future you had no idea
what was going to happen. Then, when you found out she was dating a married man
you did everything within your power to warn her of the dangers and to get her
to stop seeing him.”
    “Yes.”
    “And as you’ve already conceded, if the tables had
been switched you would have probably ignored her advice.”
    “Yes.”
    “So what is there to feel guilty about?”
    She sighed. “I suppose when you put it like that,
nothing, but it’s not easy and when those pangs of guilt occur I struggle to
deal with them.”
    “Could I suggest when you next have those thoughts
you challenge them with the same rationale I’ve just used?”
    She sighed again. “I know you’re right, and I
promise I’ll give it a try. But I’m not convinced it’ll succeed.”
    “It will if you allow it to.”
    “Okay,” she said unconvincingly.
    “Now, let’s return to those feelings of anger and
hatred.”
    “They’re directed solely and squarely at him. It’s
taken twenty-eight years for him to finally get what he deserved.”
    “Do you really think he got what he deserved?”
    “Yes, I do, and I hope he’s burning in hell as we
speak.”
    “How did he die?”
    “He hanged himself from Scammonden Bridge.”
    Rosco hesitated for a split second. “How did. . .?”
    “She hanged herself in the barn at my parents’
house.”
    Silence.
    “Ironic isn’t it?” she said. “That he chose the