Dark Needs at Night's Edge by Kresley Cole

was grim. “He would have been trained to destroy vampires, his hatred of them stoked from the time he was a boy.”
    â€œAnd then I turned him into what he despised.” Nikolai released a breath through his teeth as though he’d been kicked in the stomach. “It would have been unendurable.”
    â€œWhat about their vow?” What vow?
    If possible, Nikolai paled even more. “For all his faults, Conrad never broke a vow in his life. Unless it happened before he’d turned thirteen…” Unless what happened?
    The two were silent for long moments, Sebastian’s expression grave while Nikolai’s was filled with guilt. “His life had been given over to a cause greater than himself. I should have”—Nikolai ran his hand over his forehead—“I should have talked to him, given him, and you, the choice that night.”
    â€œI wouldn’t have chosen the turning, and then I wouldn’t be with Kaderin.” He spoke as if he’d sidestepped the direst tragedy. Sebastian was lost for his Bride. “Besides, Conrad was too far gone. The soldiers gutted him before me, hours before you and Murdoch came. I don’t believe he would ever have regained consciousness.”
    She floated in front of Conrad to face him. He’d been stabbed in the stomach, she in the heart. Then against their wills they’d both been changed into something else entirely. Neither of them had asked for their current existences.
    He’d been a hero, his life given over to a greater cause. She sighed, waving her hand to send a gentle touch along his cheek. What happened to you out there, vampire?
    Sebastian said, “But he’ll never reconcile himself to our existence unless we can convince him that we aren’t evil.”
    Shaking his head hard, Nikolai said, “We can’t convince him of anything until his mind heals more. Let’s get this over with.”
    They stripped off his pants, leaving him naked.
    And she swayed weightlessly. Le dément est exquis .
    Her gaze slid from his navel, following that trail of black hair. Oh, my, my, my. Even flaccid, his size was brow-raising.
    â€œConrad, look at me.” Nikolai waved in front of his vacant stare.
    Conrad blinked as if he had no idea where he was or how he’d gotten there.
    â€œDo you want to wash yourself?” Nikolai asked. “If we chain your hands in front of you?”
    Seeming to shake off some of his confusion, Conrad eased his muttering. A flicker arose in those red eyes.
    He’s calculating. At length, Conrad grated, “Alone.”
    The brothers shared a glance, no doubt reviewing all the ways Conrad couldn’t escape. “Very well,” Nikolai said.
    Conrad held his wrists up behind him, and all the rippling muscles of his torso flexed into sharp rises and indentations that spoke of a terrible strength.
    After removing the cuffs, Nikolai refastened them in front, then pulled a pin to loosen the chain between the wrists so Conrad could have more freedom. When Conrad made no attempt to escape, they glanced at each other as if their brother was making outrageous progress. Which, she supposed, he was.
    â€œI’ve left a towel and a change of clothes on the rack,” Sebastian said. “They should fit. But if not, we’ve brought plenty more—”
    â€œAlone!” Conrad snapped. When they finally left, he entered the spacious shower stall.
    Still facing her direction, he stepped under the water and let it cascade over his back. He appeared exhausted from the medicine, as if his limbs felt heavy and ungainly, but he seemed to enjoy the simple pleasure of the water sluicing over his body.
    I envy him every drop!
    He picked up the bar of soap, smelled it. Finding it acceptable, he lathered his face, then leaned back against the tile so that the water ran over his front.
    And all she could do was stare because, as the blood, plaster, and burn marks