Deceitful Choices by C.A. Harms

was driving me fucking mad.
    “Chill the fuck out, Z; she’s probably busy taking care of the kid or in the shower. She’ll call back,” Rigdon assured me as he flipped through the channels on the television. “Just give it some time; I’m sure she’ll call back.”
    I tried to control my worried state. He was right; at least for now I didn’t have a reason to worry.
    But that thought faded fast when after almost an hour she still had not returned my call. And after at least another ten phone calls I had the right to start worrying.
    I searched through my phone looking for the number I knew I had called once before. It had been weeks ago when I first found out I had a son, but it was there somewhere.
    Just as I hovered over the number on my call log that I knew belonged to Taylor, my phone rang with Lindsay’s name flashing across the screen.
    I didn’t even let it ring a second time before quickly swiping my finger over the screen. “Hello, Linds, is everything okay?”
    “I’m sorry I didn’t answer when you called earlier. I was in the emergency room and I had it on vibrate. I actually picked up my phone to call you and realized you’d already called.” I could tell by her voice she was upset.
    “What’s going on?” My stomach was in knots.
    “Camden’s been running a fever off and on all day,” she replied, just as I heard my son begin crying in the back ground. It resembled a cry of pain that made my chest fucking ache.
    “Lindsay?” I hated the inability to rush to their side. I wanted to be with them. I should be with them.
    “They’re just gonna keep him overnight,” she assured me. “They think it’s viral, but he’s not eating or drinking, and he’s dehydrated from the fever.”
    I hung my head and pinched the bridge of my nose. “Can we Skype?” I asked. “I wanna see him.”
    “Yeah,” she whispered. “Just send it through and I’ll answer.”
    Within moments my son came into view and my heart hammered in my chest. He lay in what looked like a fucking metal cage with an IV running from his left hand. His little chest rose and fell as he looked around the room. His lower lip trembled and instantly I wanted to reach out and soothe his sadness, only I couldn’t.
    “Hey little man.” I watched as he looked toward Lindsay, attempting to locate my voice. “Daddy’s here, buddy.”
    Lindsay must have moved the phone closer because he came into better view, and the moment he located me he puckered his lip and the tears fell heavy.
    A mixture of anger and heartache filled me and I wanted to react, but was able to maintain control.
    “He’s really tired,” Linds whispered as she gently patted Camden’s back. “He hasn’t slept much today.”
    I watched in silence as he began to close his eyes and lifted his blanket to his face. He did that when he was falling asleep; it was like he was smelling it.
    I wasn’t sure how much time had passed, but I had fallen into some form of trance as I watched him fade into a deep sleep.
    It was in that moment I made up my mind. No matter what it took, I would convince Lindsay she had to move to California. I couldn’t be this far away from them because it was killing me.
    I spent the night with them, as Lindsay slept in the chair at his side. A few times throughout the night he woke with a loud cry and she would soothe him. Each time I couldn’t offer my own form of comfort to my son only made my heart ache more.
    This distance was something I couldn’t live with.
    “What do you think would have happened if I’d been able to reach you and you knew about Camden right away?” Lindsay’s question surprised me. I had just started to fade, and out of nowhere she spoke.
    I chose to be completely honest. “Had I known, I would have had you on the first flight here to California and stayed by your side through the entire process.”
    She smiled and looked back over at Camden as if she was in deep thought.
    “That day I drove away from the