Delilah's Diary #2: La Vita Sexy by Jasinda Wilder Page B

then.
    A tiny part of my brain told me I should still be upset over what had almost happened, but honestly, Luca coming to the rescue like he had only turned me on. He had appeared out of nowhere, a knight to my fair maiden. He'd bled for me. That sent a thrill of heat shuddering through me, settling between my thighs.
    I wanted him.
    An errant thought passed through my head: Was this a one-night stand? If I slept with him again, now, or tomorrow, and the next day, did that change it into something else? I wasn't sure if I liked the idea of a one-night stand. I had committed myself to trying new things, to moving past the long-ingrained religious mores and taboos I'd grown up with. But did that mean I had to abandon all of my principles? Where did I draw the line? I'd already slept with Luca and couldn't deny how earth-shattering it had been. I couldn't deny how badly I wanted to experience that with him, again and again.
    "You are thinking very hard, aren't you mia bella Delilah?" Luca stood up and wrapped his arms around my waist. "Tell me, if you will, what it is you are thinking about."
    I thunked my forehead against his chest, spoke muffled words into his shirt. "About you. What we did together, and how much I liked it. About how I...how I want to do it again." I looked up at him, forced my eyes to lock with his. "But I'm also wondering about what it means."
    He tilted his head to the side. "What it means? I do not understand this. What should it mean? Two adults can do this together without it having a deep meaning, can they not?"
    "Well, that's exactly what I'm wondering about. Yes, they can. And it happens all the time, just...just not to me. And I was raised...differently. I was raised to believe sex should only happen in the context of marriage. That sex outside marriage was a sin. When everything with my ex-husband happened, it threw into question everything I believed. I...resolved to start over. Do things I'd never considered doing before. Experience life, you know? And then I met you, and I wanted to do...what we did. And I want to again, but I keep...I don't know...fighting with myself over whether I think it's wrong or not. My upbringing tells me it is, and my body tells me it's not, and my mind and heart don't know what to think."
    Luca's brows furrowed as he absorbed what I'd said. "That is very complicated."
    I laughed, a bit mirthlessly. "Yeah, that's me. Complicated. Sorry."
    He chuckled. "No, I do not mean to say you are complicated, just all that you are thinking. I did not imagine it would be so deep a subject when I asked."
    "Oh, Luca. When you hooked up with me, you got a whole lot more than you'd probably imagined, on a lot of levels." I leaned into him, flattening my palms against his shoulders. I was worried he was about to leave, and wanted to get as much contact with him as I could before he was gone.
    "Are you wishing things were simpler with me?" I asked. "I know I'm complicated, and I'm sorry. I wish I could simplify things, but...I'm just a mess right now, I guess."
    Luca looked down at me in puzzlement. "You should not apologize for who you are. No, Delilah. I do not wish you were less complicated. You are who you are, and I knew you were not a simple person from the first moment we met. I like this about you. I am not afraid of the challenge of understanding you."
    That took a moment for me to work out in my head. "I'm a challenge to you?"
    Luca laughed and rolled his eyes at me. "Yes, you are. This is not meant to be an insult, so please, do not be so offended. You cannot apologize for not being simpler, and then be insulted when I say understanding you for your complexness is a challenge. It is illogical."
    I laughed and pushed him playfully. "Hasn't anyone ever told you women are illogical?"
    "Well, yes, but—"
    "Relax. I wasn't offended. If you're up to the challenge that is Delilah Flores, then that's your choice. I just want you to understand what you're getting into."
    "Oh, I know