Die Trying: A Zombie Apocalypse by Nicholas Ryan

gaze. “I mean it.”
    “Why?”
    “Because I killed his wife and child,” I said, and my gaze went down to the bright little flame of the candle, and my mind drifted back to the first days of the apocalypse. I sighed, seeing the bloody horror in my mind once more – scenes of madness and terror that haunted me in my sleep.
    I glanced up at Harrigan. His eyes were wide, his expression confused.
    “Jed had been in prison,” I said. “Not for anything as simple as stealing candy bars , either. He was there for murder,” I said flatly. “It was an armed robbery that went wrong. He shot a man and did eleven hard years.  He was released the day before the world went to hell and the zombie virus started sweeping down the east coast.” I took a deep breath and then went on. “I was supposed to look after his family while he was inside. He had a wife, and a baby girl. He went to prison before the girl was born. He’d never even seen her. I was taking care of them. I helped with the bills, mowed the lawn – that kind of thing,” I said carefully. “I was watching over them until he got out. He was on his way home – taking the overnight bus. I went to the Greyhound station to pick him up – and by the time we got back into town, we could see streets on fire and hear sirens. The cops had the roads blocked off, and the army was moving in a convoy of trucks and armored vehicles. There were helicopters swarming all across the sky. They were strafing the streets.
    “ We tried to go round the roadblock. We went cross-country, but I crashed the car and we had to hike the rest of the way. It took us three days. By the time we reached his house, they were gone. His wife and child. The door had been broken in – windows smashed. We found blood on the walls, but nothing else.”
    “Infected?” Harrigan asked softly.
    I nodded. “I guess so. Or torn to pieces. I honestly don’t know. All I know is they weren’t there, and Jed blamed me. He blamed me for not taking them to the depot to meet him. He blamed me for leaving them alone. And then he vowed to kill me.”
    Harrigan shook his head. “But he never said anything to me. Not in all the time I was in that house with you. Not once. I mean, sure, I saw the way he looked at you sometimes, and I knew he had an attitude, Mitch – but I thought that was just a brotherly thing. You know. I had no idea he wanted you dead. Are you sure he’s serious?”
    I smiled wryly. “It’s family business,” I said, and my voice was tight and heavy. “It’s a feud. It’s between him and me. And yes – I’m sure he’s serious.”
    Again Harrigan shook his head. “But why didn’t he kill you there and then?” he asked macabrely. “If he blames you and hates you, why are you still alive?”
    “Because we were in the middle of bloody Hell,” I said. “He neede d me. We found a car and got away. Made it as far south as this town before the car gave out. Made it to the house – and were there ever since. You see, he’s waiting. He’s waiting until we’re clear of the infected areas, or until the army gets control of the plague and starts to fight back. He’s waiting until he doesn’t need me anymore,” I explained. “That’s when he’s going to kill me.”
    “But, Mitch. That could be any time. It could be tonight or tomorrow….”
    I nodded gravely. “I know,” I said, and sighed. “I thought he was going to do it a week ago when you first appeared at the front door of that house, covered in blood. I thought maybe your arrival would be enough to convince him he didn’t need me. Now it’s something I have to deal with again. This new guy and his daughter – maybe he will think he now has enough support to make it to safety.”
    There was another long silence. It stretched out between us until finally Harrigan slowly raised his eyes.
    “T hat’s why he was suddenly looking at you like he wants you dead?”
    I nodded. “ Maybe. Maybe he’s getting ready –