Disenchanted by C L Raven

Mephistopheles
answered.
    "Mephistopheles!" I
scolded.
    "What did I say about
dropping me in it?" He bit my hand again.
    " Ow !
I hardly think insulting him's going to get us out of
this."
    "Who are you talking
to?" The officer asked.
    "My cat." I turned. The
passenger seat was empty.
    "Please step out of the
vehicle."
    My heart racing, I opened the
door and got out, expecting to be slammed over the bonnet and frisked in a way
that wouldn't be at all enjoyable.
    The officer screamed as
Mephistopheles leapt onto his back and scrammed his face. He flailed, trying to
shake him off, but Mephistopheles hung on, biting and scratching like a demon.
The officer hit the ground, Mephistopheles attached to his face.
    "You tell anyone you saw us
and I'll chop you up so small, ants will carry the pieces back to their
farm," Mephistopheles murmured into his ear. "Dude, quick, get the
footage from the car." I stared at him. "He's probably got a
dashboard camera. Don't leave any prints!"
    I ran to the car and opened the
door with my sleeve over my hand. I grabbed the camera, yanking out the wires. By
the time I returned to my car, the officer was face down and handcuffed.
    "Get in!"
Mephistopheles called from the passenger seat.
    I dived in and sped off, tossing
the camera into the passenger well.
    "Good work grasshopper. We
sure showed him."
    "How can you operate
handcuffs?"
    "I made him do it."
    "He'll remember my face, the
car."
    "The car's registered to
Pierre. And your face isn't that memorable. If I wasn't with you all the time,
I'd forget what you looked like."
    "I'm not cut out for a life
of crime."
    "It's temporary, until your
acting career takes off."
    "What acting career?"
    "Precisely."
    I floored the accelerator, hoping
to scare him into silence. He went to sleep. I stopped at an abandoned factory
and carried the carpets inside the decaying building. Mephistopheles barked
orders while I fetched packaging crates and paper to build a fire. When it
ignited, I tossed the hall carpet onto the flames.
    The fire investigated the carpet
before deciding it was combustible and devouring it with malicious glee, its
burning body writhing with pleasure. I threw the stair carpet onto it.
    "Hey! What are you
doing?"
    A torch blinded me. I shielded my
eyes and ran. Mephistopheles shot past me and launched at the security guard's
face. He shrieked as he fell.
    Mephistopheles released the man's
cheek. "If you tell anyone you saw us, I'll hunt you down and chop you
into bitesized chunks. Then I'll come for your
family. Understood?"
    The man nodded. "Please
don't kill me."
    "Keep your mouth shut and I
won't have to."
    He jumped off the guard and
gambolled out towards the car. I chased him, sat in and gunned the engine. I
waited until we were a mile down the road before speaking.
    "You've got to stop
threatening people!"
    "I'm sorry, I was under the
impression you didn't want to go to
jail. Or am I mistaken? I can go back and plant your wallet at the crime scene.
Jail won't be so bad. You'll have a room, a TV, regular food and showers. You
might even get yourself a nice boyfriend. The nights can be so lonely. You're
clearly having no luck finding a girl in normal society."
    I gripped the wheel. "I
don't want to go to jail. But do you have to be so vicious ? And threatening his family?"
    "Threatening the family's
more effective than threatening people personally."
    "Are there any other crimes
you want me to commit or are we done for the night?"
    He purred. "We're done. This
has been great. I never get to do any fun stuff."
    "Fun isn't the word I'd use
to describe tonight."
    "You only see the bad in
everything. You really should see someone about your gloom cookie
attitude."
    I glared at him. I never thought
I'd be pleased to see my house. I pulled into the driveway and killed the
engine. I rested my head back and sighed. Mephistopheles put his paws on the
door until I took the hint and got out. He leapt out after me and led the way
to the house. He