Do They Wear High Heels in Heaven? by Erica Orloff

room.
    “Lily…you look great!” Ellie said and went over to the couch and leaned down and hugged her.
    “God, you’re an awful liar.”
    “All right. So this isn’t your best look. But remember your eighties hair? Remember leg warmers? Remember…God, the entire eighties decade was a disaster. I consider the blotchy thing a phase, like all of that. Your eyes are the window to your soul and yours are still the same beautiful blue.”
    “God, all right. Hear this,” Lily laughed. “In addition to the No Crying rule, I am instituting the No Maudlin Sentiment rule. I mean, window to the soul. Come off it.”
    I went to the kitchen and returned with wine, cheese and another beer for Joe.
    “So when are you coming back into the office?” Joe asked. “Not that you’re in any danger of losing your column.”
    “First of all, I have never seen why, in the age of e-mail, I ever have to show up at the office.”
    “Face time. Everybody needs some face time.”
    “I could do without seeing your face,” she snapped.
    I leaned back in my chair, very self-satisfied. This was my most brilliant plan yet. The more she fought, the better off she would be.
    Ellie ran a hand through her hair. She was pushing forty-five but still looked like a teen refugee from the circus with her flaming hair and “boho” clothing. “So…you want to hear about my latest boyfriend?”
    Lily rolled her eyes. “Do we have to?”
    “Yes. Now this guy is it. Name’s Ken. First of all, he’s the first guy in like a year that I’ve met who doesn’t live with his mother.”
    “Well, sounds like a winner then,” Joe said. “You should marry him.”
    “Thinking about it,” Ellie replied. She never got how sarcastic Joe was. “But…well…you know how I have this thing about rats?”
    Lily nodded. In fact, Ellie had a raging, screaming full-blown phobia of rodents. Whenever they even appeared on television, like on Survivor, she had to be sedated. Or at least she had to change the channel.
    “He has a pet rat.”
    Joe shook his head. “I knew that was coming.”
    “So, you know, he’s very attached to Albert. And so we’re trying to figure this all out. I mean, I’d move in with him. He has a better apartment than me. But…it’s too gross to contemplate. I even tried hypnosis to get over my fear, but I just can’t go within fifty feet of that rat.”
    “Well, the last guy I dated,” Lily said, “took out a calculator to figure out how to split the bill at the restaurant.”
    “Which guy was that?” Joe asked.
    “The doctor.”
    “A friggin’ doctor and he’s splitting the bill?” Ellie shrieked. “And I thought I had it bad.”
    “I know. I’d be better off dating Michael for all the action I’m getting. And now…You think while bald I’ll meet anyone?”
    “Sure. You should try a Twelve-Step program. I met a ton of men in A.A.,” Ellie said.
    Joe looked at her as she had her wineglass raised. “But you’re not an alcoholic.”
    “I know. But men fresh into the program? They make great dates. They’re getting all spiritual.”
    “Nothing like starting off in an honest relationship,” Lily cracked.
    We laughed and talked about old times. Ellie and I polished off a bottle of wine, and Joe had another beer. Lily looked tired.
    “Hate to kick you out, guys, but my days of partying until dawn are over. At least tonight they are.”
    Joe rose and went over to kiss the top of her head. “Hang in there, kiddo.”
    Ellie stood and wrapped her fuzzy red scarf around her neck. “Best chemo party I’ve ever been to. I’ll see if Ken has a brother.”
    “No, that’s okay.”
    I walked Joe and Ellie to the door. “Thanks, guys,” I whispered.
    Joe gave me a wink, and Ellie hugged me.
    Walking back into the living room, I ducked to avoid a throw pillow Lily hurled from the couch.
    “What?”
    “Michael, did it ever occur to you that I might want a little privacy as I puke my guts up and stumble around in old