Don't Cry: Stories by Mary Gaitskill

prey with its teeth. For a second, he can walk triumphant in a place of no place. Then he can say the woman lured him there.
    That is why the grandfather in the Somali author’s book wants to fuck the slut. He tells his son that because she has no children, he feels sorry for her, that he is fucking her out of sympathy. But he does not seem to feel sorry for her. He wants her; you could even say he needs her, for through her he can descend into a terrible, thrilling world and then come back in his suit and tie and be good The Somali author almost acknowledges this in his frank fascination with the slut. For if she were not there, how could he go to that place of no place? He would have to discharge his anger and contempt on Mom with Double Boobs, and this would be more than anybody could bear—for, like me, he has more love than anger. How unfair that men get to go to this mysterious place and come back whole. How noble that the feminist author stands up onstage and tries to speak for the sluts they go there with, even if she fails. Even if her story makes something terrible into something light and silly, even if she herself is light and silly.
    This is what I was thinking as I sat in the hospitality lounge, nursing a seltzer water with lemon, after attending a reading by a man from the prairies who had written a prizewinning novel about a heroic woman who rescues an orphan from an abusive foster parent. I was sitting by the window, and, in the sunlight, the room seemed composed of impossible purple and mahogany hues. Caterers discreetly moved in and out, replacing platters of food and trays of drinks.
    Soon I would leave, pick up my daughter, and take her for pizza. We would go home and watch Buffy the Vampire Slayer. And then maybe that strange anime show, the one we stumbled on last week—a show where the heroine, the good girl, has no arms and the sexy villainess is powerful and crude. It looked like the cartoon
    slut was trying to kill the heroine and steal her boyfriend. But instead, in the middle of a gun battle between hero and villain, the slut (admiring the armless girl’s purity) took a bullet to save her and died with the heroine in her arms. When the embrace broke, the good girl magically stood up with arms of her own and proceeded to beat the crap out of the bad guy. “Yeah, there’s gonna be some changes around here!” she announced. Rock music played.
    “Weird,” said Kira, and, yes, it was.
    I drank my seltzer water and reviewed my notes.
    Early in my career, I did a piece on the then-burgeoning phenomenon of TV talk shows, focusing on a particular show, a show that at the time had made its reputation by sympathetically telling the stories of victims, stories that had once been too shameful to tell. Rape was a mainstay of the show, and I was present on the set for an episode that featured two women who had been raped by coworkers in the workplace, one of whom had succeeded in pressing charges, while the other had lost her case. The successful woman was a flamboyant redheaded beauty who came on yelling, “I just want to say I’ve got a shotgun ready for any sumbitch who tries it again!”
    But first came the defeated one, a chubby middle-aged woman who tried to hide her identity by sitting with her back to the camera and wearing an ill-fitting wig. The man she’d accused of raping her was there, too, and he had a lot to say. “She go like this,” he said, “on the desk!” He stood up and bent over, putting his hands out as if bracing himself. “And I say, ‘No! I don’t want that!* ”
    The awful thing was, you could totally picture her bent over the desk. Even viewing her from the back, we could see her bending nature—the mild, gentle slope of her shoulders, the sweetness of her excess flesh, the way she turned in her chair to yell, “No! That’s not the truth!” Her anger was like a clumsy animal, and you could hear in it the soft puzzlement of a person who does not understand