said, and I am willing to apologise. But I still believe that I was provoked.’ There. I cannot be any more contrite; I have offered Halliday everything that my pride will allow. He stands still, as still as he can, but his entire body somehow betrays his thought processes, as if the violence of his internal deliberations is causing his body to minutely vibrate. He blinks, his eyes once again search my face.
‘Fuck me you’ve got a pair on you,’ he says, a flat statement that implies no warmth or admiration. ‘I dunno.’ He unbunches his fists, puts his hands together, wraps one with the other. There is silence, and I cannot help but wonder at the assurance this man carries with him; he is deciding my fate in front of me, in my own office, reaching his decision in his own sweet time. ‘I dunno,’ he says again.
But like anybody there is a limit to my patience. I walk behind my desk, sit down and pull my papers towards me. ‘Don’t let me rush you,’ I say, looking down.
I do not know if my actions prompt his decision but Halliday sits in the chair in front of my desk and pulls his suit jacket apart, crosses his legs, makes himself comfortable. Although he has not said anything, the feeling in my office lifts like sun emerging from behind a cloud. One of the men by the door takes out his mobile and checks for messages. Halliday looks about my office with less agitation than during his first appraisal, takes his time, then looks back at me.
‘Fucking horrible place you’ve got here.’
‘Thanks,’ I say. ‘I like it too.’
Halliday cannot help the suspicion of a smile appearing on his thin lips. ‘You’ve got more mouth than a cow’s got tits,’ he says. ‘You know that?’
I do not reply, try to keep my expression neutral. I do not have the merest idea how this man thinks.
‘Here’s what’s going to happen,’ Halliday says. ‘I’m looking to buy some properties for rental purposes. You are going to deal with the purchase, tenancy, all that paperwork shit. Spare me the trouble. Be the man in charge. Right?’
‘How many properties?’ I ask. He has caught me off guard but I am attempting to roll with his punches, keep up with his relentless onslaught. I may, and I believe I do, appear calm, but it is an act. Though I am not a wealthy man and I am trying to grow my practice, Vincent Halliday would not be top of my list of prospective clients. Anything he is involved in is going to be toxic and I do not want to touch it.
‘One. A conversion. Old convent into flats. Apartments.’
‘All right, well, if you’d like to engage me as your solicitor I will need some details. I’ll need to see your passport.’
‘You what, son? Do me a favour. This ain’t your everyday fucking transaction. This’ll be done through a company I’m setting up, is all you need to know for now. And you –’ Halliday leans further forward ‘– you’ll be our representative. Any correspondence, it comes to you. I don’t want nothing to do with it.’
‘Not really my area,’ I say. ‘I can do the conveyancing…’
He continues as if I have not spoken. ‘So if and when Revenue and Customs come sniffing about, this is where they come first. With me?’
His energy is unstoppable; already for him this discussion is finished, the deal is struck and he is ready to leave, move on to his next piece of business. But I am not done. I believe I can see where this is heading and I want to know more.
‘You’ll expect me to vet any prospective tenants.’
Halliday is halfway out of his seat; he sits back down. ‘Tenants.’ He looks at the two men he came in with; they smile, one of them laughs. Halliday looks back at me. ‘We’ll take care of all that. Less questions you ask the better.’
‘Right.’ I think I see.
‘With me?’ he says again.
‘I think so.’
So there it is. I am going to be fronting a property scam for Vincent Halliday and I am being given no choice in the matter. My profession