Ends and Odds by Samuel Beckett Page A

than you, what exactly it is we are after, what sign or set of words. But since you have failed so far to let it escape you, it is not by harking on the same old themes that you are likely to succeed, that would astonish me.
    S: He has gone off again, Sir.
    A (
warming to his point):
Someone, perhaps that is what is wanting, someone who once saw you … (
abating
)… go by. I may be quite wrong, but try, at least try, what do you stand to lose? (
Beside himself
.) Even though it is not true!
    S (
shocked):
Oh Sir!

    A: A father, a mother, a friend, a … Beatrice-no, that is asking too much. Simply someone, anyone, who once saw you … go by. (
Pause
.) That woman … what’s the name?
    S: Maud, Sir.
    A: That Maud, for example, perhaps you once brushed against each other. Think hard!
    S: He has gone off, Sir.
    A: Dick!—no, wait. Kiss him, Miss, perhaps that will stir some fibre.
    S: Where, Sir?
    A: In his heart, in his entrails—or some other part.
    S: No, I mean kiss him where, Sir?
    A (
angry):
Why on his stinker of a mouth, what do you suppose? (STENOGRAPHER
kisses
FOX.
Howl from
FOX.) Till it bleeds! Kiss it white! (
Howl from
FOX.) Suck his gullet!
    Silence.
    S: He has fainted away, Sir.
    A: Ah … perhaps I went too far. (
Pause
.) Perhaps I slipped you too soon.
    S: Oh no, Sir, you could not have waited a moment longer, time is up. (
Pause
.) The fault is mine, I did not go about it as I ought.
    A: Come, come, Miss! To the marines! (
Pause
.) Up already! (
Pained
.) I chatter too much.
    S: Come, come, Sir, don’t say that, it is part of your role, as animator.
    Pause.
    A: That tear, Miss, do you remember?
    S: Oh yes, Sir, distinctly.
    A (
faint hope):
Not the first time by any chance?
    S: Heavens no, Sir, what an idea!
    A (
disappointed):
I might have known.
    S: Last winter, now I come to think of it, he shed several, do you not remember?
    A: Last winter! But, my dear child, I don’t remember yesterday, it is down the hatch with love’s young dream. Last winter! (
Pause. Low, with emotion
.) Miss.
    S (
low):
Sir.
    A: That … Maud.
    Pause.
    S (
encouraging):
Yes, Sir.
    A: Well … you know … I may be wrong … I wouldn’t like to … I hardly dare say it … but it seems to me that … here … possibly … we have something at last.
    S: Would to God, Sir.
    A: Particularly with that tear so hard behind. It is not the first, agreed. But in such a context!
    S: And the milk, Sir, don’t forget the milk.
    A: The breast! One can almost see it!
    S: Who got her into that condition, there’s another question for us.
    A: What condition, Miss, I fail to follow you.
    S: Someone has fecundated her. (
Pause. Impatient
.) If she is in milk someone must have fecundated her.
    A: To be sure!
    S: Who?
    A (
very excited):
You mean …
    S: I ask myself.
    Pause.
    A: May we have that passage again, Miss?
    S: “Have yourself opened, Maud would say, opened—”
    A (
delighted):
That frequentative! (
Pause
.) Sorry, Miss.
    S: “Have yourself opened, Maud would say, opened up—”
    A: Don’t skip, Miss, the text in its entirety if you please.
    S: I skip nothing, Sir. (
Pause
.) What have I skipped, Sir?
    A (
emphatically):
“… between two kisses …” (
Sarcastic
.) That mere trifle! (
Angry
.) How can we ever hope to get anywhere if you suppress gems of that magnitude?
    S: But, Sir, he never said anything of the kind.
    A (
angry):
“… Maud would say,
between two kisses
, etc.” Amend.
    S: But, Sir, I—
    A: What the devil are you deriding, Miss? My hearing? My memory? My good faith? (
Thunderous
.) Amend!
    S (
feebly):
As you will, Sir.
    A: Let us hear how it runs now.
    S (
tremulous):
“Have yourself opened, Maud would say, between two kisses, opened up, it’s nothing, I’ll give him suck if he’s still alive, ah but no, no no.” (
Faint pencil
.) “No no.”
    Silence.
    A: