Every Breaking Wave by Megan Nugen Isbell

his voice faded off and I sensed he was nervous because he broke our stare for a second, before looking back at me. “I have to say you’re even prettier when you smile.”
    I could feel the red on my cheeks.  Had Jeremy really just said that to me?  I felt like I was in junior high again when you find out the cute guy you’ve been pining over likes you.  This wasn’t junior high though.  This was real life and real life had been beating me down so much I’d almost forgotten what it felt like to be paid a compliment, to smile because of something nice someone else says.  He’d reminded me though and it felt great.
    I couldn’t tear my gaze from his and then he scooted closer onto the mattress, the weight of his body causing our thighs to touch.  His hand reached up, his fingertips grazing my cheek gently, leaving a trail of warmth behind and when he leaned into me, I thought he might kiss me. My heart began to pound and half of me was screaming no. I had no time for this. I’d given my heart unconditionally once before only to have it stomped on and crushed.  I wasn’t going to let that happen to me again.  The other half was hard to ignore though.  It was begging for him to kiss me.  His lips looked warm and inviting and it’d been so long since I’d been with a man.  He grew closer and I could almost hear the blood flowing in my head, but then just as I expected to feel his mouth on mine, I felt his lips on my forehead instead.  They pressed against my skin and felt just as soft as I imagined.
    When he pulled back, even though I’d ached to feel his kiss, I almost felt relief that he’d been a gentleman and merely kissed me on the forehead, even if he’d only meant it as a caring gesture.
    “Goodnight, Beth,” he whispered and he stood up, the mattress returning to its regular form. “I’m just down the hall if you need anything.”
    “I know.  Goodnight, Jeremy.”
    He smiled at me before turning out the light and I slid under the covers about to get my first truly restful night’s sleep in the last year.

Eight
     
    My eyes drifted open slowly the next morning.  If not for the fact my bladder woke me up, I’d probably still be asleep. I was still tired. I wasn’t sure if it was from the medication or from finally getting a solid night’s sleep, but I made my way to the bathroom and when I was done, I glanced at the clock. 9:13. I couldn’t recall the last time I’d slept so late. While Noah was a good sleeper, that didn’t mean he slept in. I was lucky if he slept past seven o’clock. After nine was unheard of.
    I quickly washed my hands, glancing up into the mirror above the sink. My hair was a knotted mess by now and strands were falling in my face. I pushed the hair back and saw the dark circles under my eyes. While I’d slept like a rock, my body still needed more sleep. I wasn’t used to such good sleep, which is why my body was probably having a hard time with it.
    I forgot for a moment that Jeremy had stayed over and I wondered if he was still here. I was certain he was. He’d been so concerned last night he wouldn’t have just left without saying goodbye or without making sure I was okay, especially not after the way he’d said goodnight. I could still feel his lips on my forehead, even though I didn’t want to admit it because I was in no position to be crushing on my new neighbor.
    I slipped on a bra beneath my t-shirt. Jeremy had already seen me braless once and I did not think he’d appreciate seeing my droopy boobs again. Breast feeding is a beautiful thing, but a year of it had not been kind to my once perky breasts.
    When I walked into the kitchen, I saw the door was open. I heard laughter from outside and when I peeked out, I saw Noah playing catch with Jeremy. I stood and watched in solitude for a moment. Noah was grinning from ear to ear and I couldn’t help but smile when I watched Jeremy instructing Noah on the proper throwing technique.
    I decided to