Finding Cassie Crazy by Jaclyn Moriarty

about what whales sound like when they’re singing. They’re giving a lot of examples to support their own arguments, which is really making people stare.
    I’ll interrupt them to ask them what causes colds. (I’m pretty sure it’s not sprinkler systems.)

    It was difficult to get them to stop talking but as soon as I did Em had an answer. She said colds travel around on the fur of rats, and that is what caused the plague and she’s not surprised that people at Brookfield have colds because it’s rat-infested.
    Cass said people get colds when they walk around with their mouths open.
    So shut your mouth, Seb, and you’ll be fine.
    It’s interesting that you suggest I give you an assignment during the previews of a movie. You need to learn a little respect for previews. They’re our favourite part. Em always cries in the previews for sad movies because she guesses what sad thing might happen in the actual movie, and Cass packs her things up, like ready to go home, when the previews finish. As in, to indicate humorously that’s all she needs to see.
    Okay, I’ve thought of an assignment for you.
    Well, we always go to the movies on Thursdays after lunch and what we do is, we take the path through the reserve behind our school to get to the station. Do you know the reserve? People go there at lunch to smoke up or buy drugs,so you probably know it. Also, people jog there all the time. But whenever I hear running footsteps behind me I think it’s someone chasing us. Like a teacher. To arrest us. Even though I know it’s just a jogger.
    So this is the assignment.
1.
Go to the reserve and tie purple ribbons around as many branches of the trees as you can. That way I’ll see them and be distracted from the running footsteps.
2.
Try to do it by lunchtime Thursday.
    I hope that’s enough notice for you.
    See ya
    Lydia

    Hey Lyd
    I did the ribbon thing for you. Very weird request.
    Is it okay if I send you my next special task now? It’s urgent.
    This is it:
    To: SPECIAL AGENT LYDIA
From: AKA
ASSIGNMENT DESCRIPTION
    Think up a way to stop me having to do my Science exam on Wednesday. The Science teacher is ‘the Rattler’ if that helps. Also known as ‘the Rattlesnake’. Maybe you want to kill him?
    FIELD NOTES: Okay, you broke me down. These are exam avoidance techniques. I can’t think of any other way to disguise them.
    FIELD NOTES 2: You talk about your friends Emily and Cassie a fair bit. Are they as hot as you?

    Dear Seb
    I forgive you for the exam thing because I knew it all along. Also because I loved the ribbons around the trees in the park. Thank you v. v. much.
    Em and Cass came over to my place on the weekend and we just watched movies and listened to music and painted walls etc. On Sunday we went shopping, and we were at this café and there was a bowl of sugar sachets in the middle of the table. Cass was looking at the sugar and she suddenly said, kind of quietly, ‘huh’ and she took out her mobile and dialled a number and said, in a polite voice, ‘Yes, I’m really interested in finding out more about this sugar, please?’
    Because she had found a number on the side of the sugar to Call If You Want More Information About This Sugar. She kept a straight face the whole conversation and that’s exactly the way Cass is funny when she decides to be funny.
    I’ve found the person you mentioned. Don’t worry about studying for the Science exam.
    But I don’t see how this helps you. In the end, you’ll have to do the exams, right? So why do you keep putting it off?
    Lydia

    Dear Lydia
    You STOLE THE EXAM PAPERS FROM HIS CAR????
    How did you even know what kind of car he drives? You rock. You’re a classic. You’re as beautiful as a Beckham free kick and as wicked as that Maradona header. I’m thinking about taking off my shirt and sending it to you. I’m that in love with you.
    You