Five Television Plays (David Mamet) by David Mamet Page A

major fight. R UDY is seen fighting bravely. C LORIS and A LBERT gravitate toward each other in the fray. )
    P OTAWATAMIE ( eerily ): Youth is Nature's Gift to the Young!!
    ( The M INERS continue to sing. Suddenly, the tide of battle turns so that M INERS, R UDY, C LORIS, and A LBERT find themselves in a cul-de-sac. The P OTAWATAMIES and the F ARMERS control the exit. All, sensing the imminence of the end, fall silent. A pause. The P OTAWATAMIES and the F ARMERS close in on the opposing faction. A LBERT unconsciously slips his arm around C LORIS. A pause. )
    C LORIS: John, you . . .
    J OHN ( cutting her off ): Sticks and stones will break my bones, but names will never hurt me. ( Pause. )
    P IERRE ( a battlecry ): "Let's hear it for now !!!!! "
    ( All the P OTAWATAMIES scream and run at the three friends. In their charge ALBERT finds himself thrust against a firedoor, which opens with his weight, and he finds himself outside the museum in an early dawn. The sounds of screaming continue within the museum. A LBERT pounds on the door, but his pounding is not answered. )
    A LBERT ( screaming ): Let me in. Let me in.
    ( He begins to run around the museum from entrance to entrance, trying all the doors in an attempt to get in. Running around the back he trips over a pair of lovers, and says "Sorry, “ and continues running. His run finally takes him to the main [ north ] entrance, where we see him trying the doors. We hear someone shouting at him from the entrance drive. )
    P OLICEMAN: Hey. Hey. Hey, you . . .
    (A LBERT turns and we see that he is being shouted at by a P OLICEMAN in a patrol car. )
    The Museum doesn't open for four hours. ( To his companion officer: ) I never seen this.
    (A LBERT turns back to the main door and continues to pound and cry "Let me in. )
    ( His C OMPANION O FFICER, who is sleeping with his hat over his eyes, answers him. )
    S ECOND P OLICEMAN: What?
    P OLICEMAN: I don't know . . . some kind of culture junkie, something . . . (To A LBERT: ) Go home, go read a book, something.
    (A LBERT does not move. )
    Did you hear me? I said move on.
    ( Pause. A LBERT reluctantly starts to walk down the stairs. )
    Okay.
    ( The patrol car pulls away. A LBERT walks sadly down the stairs. As he walks down the stairs, a yellow schoolbus pulls up. It has about fifty Shriners in full dress regalia in it. The Shriners file out of the bus and set up on the stairs to have a formal group picture taken by a fellow with an old bellows camera and flash pan. Shooting down from the roof of the museum we see the Shriners assembled, A LBERT trudging toward the lone car in the parking lot [ A 1963 Dodge Dart ] . The flash pan goes off, the Shriners file back into the schoolbus, which pulls away, leaving A LBERT alone in the parking lot, trudging to his car. A helicopter shot of A LBERT going to his car and a voice over of a traffic report. )
    T RAFFIC R EPORT: . . . smooth right up to the Junction. Eden's a little heavy between Armitage and Congress, and the Ryan, as usual, backed up from the Loop to 95th Street. And now back to Jim.
    J IM THE D ISC J OCKEY: Thank you. Bob, we'll have another report in fifteen, but here's one we've got a lot of requests for, and we're sending this out to Doug from Betty.
    ( The radio plays the closing song, “The Museum of Science and Industry Story.” The helicopter follows A LBERT‘ s car into South Shore Drive and traffic as he heads north. Credits super. )

A Wasted Weekend

     
    Dramatis Personae
    R ADIO A NNOUNCER
    J ABLONSKI
    R ENKO
    H ILL
    L UCY B ATES
    B UNTZ
    H ENRY G OLDBLUME
    B ELKER
    K HAKI O FFICER
    H UNTER
    F URRILLO
    S TATE T ROOPER
    S ECOND S TATE T ROOPER
    Y OUNG W OMAN (M ISS C ARRINGTON )
    G UY
    I.A.D. O FFICER
    L AWYER
    P ROPRIETOR o F THE C URRENCY E XCHANGE
    R OBBER
    O FFICER

     
    INTERIOR: JABLONSKI'S HOUSE. DAY.
    ( Angle: Kitchen countertop. Man in plaid lumberjack shirt making coffee. )
    R ADIO A NNOUNCER ( voice over ): I'll be with you this morning right up until six