Flesh: Part Twelve (The Flesh Series Book 12) by Sky Corgan

CHAPTER ONE

    My heart is heavy as
I sit in my apartment waiting for Lucian. I've been leaning against
the back of the sofa, staring at the door for the past twenty
minutes. Not so much staring at it as looking through it, not seeing
it, my mind somewhere else. Mistake , it keeps saying. I should
not have given him this chance. Nothing good will come from it.
    I wish that Janice
was home so that I could talk to her, but I already know what she
would say. She'd try to convince me not to go out with him. She'd
tell me everything that I'm already thinking. Lucian Reddick is bad
for me. He's like a disease to my heart, slowly chipping away at my
soul until he destroys me completely.
    I shouldn't have
felt sorry for him. I shouldn't have felt the slightest twinge of
sympathy for his situation. People have bad things happen to them all
the time—horrible things. Every day someone in the world loses
someone important to them. People die, they get murdered, they have
accidents. Those who are left behind choose how to deal with that
loss. Most cope well enough. Then there are those like Lucian. Those
who lose themselves because something inside of them was already
broken, the part that understands how to properly cope with loss.
    I sigh. Perhaps I'm
judging him too harshly. Maybe I'm just being bitter because his
coping mechanism has hurt me over and over again. I've been a victim
of him being a victim of circumstance. It's not fair, but life often
isn't.
    And now I'm standing
here, preparing to subject myself to more of the same treatment.
Actions speak louder than words, and I honestly don't have much faith
that he can change. This was never what I wanted, a man like him. But
I was never what he wanted either, from the way he spoke about us at
Flesh. Oil and water. Water and oil. You can stir them together until
your hand cramps, but the two will never mix. Maybe I should call and
cancel our date. Would he answer his phone then?
    Just as I think it,
there's a knock on the door. My heart leaps into my throat, and I
push myself off of the sofa, quickly smoothing my skirt before taking
long strides towards the door. I didn't even bother changing out of
what I was wearing earlier today. I don't care if he plans to take me
to the nicest restaurant in town, I want him to see that my interest
in him is practically dead. The part of me that cared about him is
drying up faster than a puddle on a hot day.
    I grit my teeth,
unpleasant tightness assaulting my chest as I open the door. A
bouquet of daisies is thrust into my face, and I scoff before my eyes
land on the face delivering them. The tightness in my chest triples,
and tremors of panic assault me.
    Derrick.
    He's wearing an
Armani suit and a smile.
    “ Hey,
Sugartits.” He pushes the flowers into my arms and then
welcomes himself into my apartment.
    I stand there with
my mouth agape, trying to process what's going on. Lucian will be
here anytime now. This is not good.
    “ D-Derrick,”
I stumble over his name, quickly shutting the door behind him and
pressing my back against it. “What a surprise.”
    “ A
good one, I hope.” He glances over his shoulder at me before
going to the kitchen to rummage under the sink for a vase. He knows
my apartment so well that I'd be amused if I weren't absolutely
horrified that he and Lucian will probably be crossing paths again
very shortly at the worst of times.
    “ Your
timing sucks so bad.” I exhale deeply, trying to push some of
the stress out with my breath though it doesn't work.
    “ I
just wanted to apologize for the way I've been acting lately. It was
totally unnecessary. Consider this a peace offering.” He
gestures for me to bring the flowers over.
    It takes everything
in me to push myself away from the door. For some reason, I feel like
as soon as I walk away from it, Lucian will knock, and then this
pleasant exchange will turn into a nightmare all over again.
    “ You
shouldn't have.” I hand him the flowers. And boy do I mean