For Both Are Infinite (Hearts in London Book 1) by Stephanie Alba

it, but I knew I couldn’t handle the honesty in his face. I wondered what his lips tasted like, but only in the darkest corners of my imagination. The reality of it was too scary, too weighted with pressure from myself and my past. He noticed my alarm and put his hand on mine. “Relax, Ellie.” He paused. “You believe me don’t you? I’ve been nothing but truthful from the beginning.”
    “I’d like to, but you’re you, and I’m me. I know you’ll be busy, so please don’t feel obligated.”
    I pushed him away with my words, not because I didn’t believe him, but because I did. I couldn’t continue feeding myself lies after only two weeks of knowing him.
    His face held tight displeasure, his lips pursing angrily. “There’s no obligation. I told you I do things because I want to. It’s disheartening to hear your lack of faith in me.”
    “No,” I squeezed his hand. I never touched him, at least not on my own initiation, but he felt it all over, so much so that he looked at our hands and back up at me in surprise. “I do, Rhys. But we’ve had to work together, and while we’ve become friends, we haven’t known each other long. You don’t owe me anything.”
    His mouth opened and closed multiple times as he tried gathering his words. When he finally did, they tore into my heart like metal shrapnel from an explosion. “I think we are more than you claim. How many people have you told about Aaron since you’ve moved here?”
    I knew he was proving his point, and he was right, but I hated that he used it against me. Pulling my hand from his arm, I recoiled from him as my eyes betrayed my imagined composure and watered. Anger settled as I regretted sharing myself with him, only to have it shot back as ammunition. I got out of the car immediately without looking back, and I could hear him following me into the building.
    His steps weren’t far behind as I hit the first landing and he said, “Ellie, you know I’m right.”
    I ignored him, continuing up the steps so roughly that I almost fell and had to stop to remove my shoes. He continued through the hallway, “I’m not just some friend you can toss aside because you’re afraid to lose me. I’m not just someone that’ll forget about you. I can’t forget about you, you must know this even after our short time.”
    Unlocking my door, I turned to look at him. His voice was harsh, winded from the steps, and vulnerable. But I didn’t give in. “Rhys, I’m really tired, it’s fine—”
    He interrupted me, “I’m sorry, please.”
    “Thanks for dinner and for driving me,” I said, ignoring his apology.
    “Ellie, please,” he begged for pardon, regret churning in his blue eyes that seemed darker. I stepped into my apartment and said, “Goodnight, Rhys,” before closing the door.
    Peeking through the peephole, I watched him pace back and forth through the hall before he yelled, “Fuck!” It shocked me, surprised me to see he was angry enough to shed his unreasonably polished demeanor. After a few moments he left, walking far enough away where I couldn’t see him, and I lay on the couch, clutching all my pillows as I wept myself to sleep.
    ∞
    Idiotically, I’d trusted someone. I did what I swore I wouldn’t and was dealing with the side effects. I think what hurt the most was that Rhys had used my flaw as a weapon. He probably hadn’t meant to be harsh, but knowing he used my most personal fears and pain against me made me furious. I woke up on my couch at around 3:00 a.m., having to change out of my wrinkled dress and wash off my make-up that had smeared across my cheeks. When I lay in bed I didn’t cry anymore, but I missed Aaron more than ever. I was bitter that life had stolen my future; that he’d left me behind to fend for myself as damaged goods.
    No one would ever understand me, my baggage or how incomplete I felt without the other piece of my soul, and I knew if Aaron were there he would have comforted me, having always been