For Love of the Earl by Jessie Clever

Intensely.
    But Alec would not give up.   He had made his father love him even when he had committed the ultimate sin.   He had made his father love him by making him laugh.   He knew he could do the same with Sarah.   He knew he could, because he must.   He could not imagine living the entirety of his life at odds with her.
    He needed her goodness.   He needed her light.   He needed her tenacity.   He needed her.
    "Sarah?" he asked, even though there was no one else in the room to whom he could be speaking.  
    She responded with a quiet, "Hmm?"
    "What did you mean when you said it was not that I was the problem?"
    Perhaps it was dangerous, or even foolish, to resurface such a delicate topic when he had so recently upset her, but there was something in the statement that did not sound quite right to him.   It settled uneasily on him as if Sarah spoke only half truths until she could figure out the whole lie.
    Now she did move away from him, and he let her.   She took a deep breath, and he felt the exhale on his cheek.   He turned his head to look at her lying next to him, her lovely face so close to his on the pillow.
    He wanted to kiss her.   He wanted to do more than kiss her.   He wanted...to not be here.   For certain, he wished to be with her, Sarah, but he wished it were somewhere else.   Anywhere else.   Somewhere warm and safe and...happy.
    "Sarah?" he prompted.
    "I don't know what it was, Alec," she nearly whispered, and Alec felt the prick of another half truth.
    He doubted Sarah was lying to him, but he also knew that she was not speaking the entire truth to him.   It was as if she knew what it was that she meant, but she did not wish to tell him.   He wondered what it was and more importantly, why she felt she could not tell him.   He wanted her to tell him everything.   He had hoped that by confiding in her about his dependence on his father's voice as a little boy would help her to trust him.   To bring her closer to him.   But he could see his story, his sharing, had not had the desired effect.   She still closed herself off to him.   She stayed back and away, physically, emotionally and mentally.
    "What was your favorite thing to do as a child?" he suddenly asked, not liking how it felt to feel Sarah drifting further away from him.   He wanted to change the subject.   He wanted to see if talking of nothing got her to speak about something.
    Sarah looked at him, her eyes deep pools in the lantern light.  
    "I beg your pardon?" she asked.
    Alec shifted onto his side, coming up on one elbow.
    "As a child.   What was your favorite thing to do?"  
    Sarah blinked, and then she said, "Eat."
    A laugh slipped from Alec's mouth before he realized she was serious.
    "I'm sorry," he said quickly before she could retreat.   "I didn't realize-"
    "It's quite all right, my lord," she said, and he thought she would berate him, but her expression was one of mocking cynicism.   "Not all of us are born to the life of leisure young Master Black had as a child.   Some of us 'ad to earn our keep," she finished in an unrefined accent.  
    And then she smiled.  
    And Alec nearly died.
    He would have found it humorous seeing as how he had survived up until now only to have his wife's playful smile slay him in the end.   He recovered quickly though, not wanting to lose this mood.   Not wanting to lose Sarah.  
    "Well, I beg your pardon, miss," he said with equally as drawn out polished tones, "I did not realize the caliber of the present company.   I do hope you can find it in yourself to forgive me."  
    Sarah frowned.  
    "Why should I forgive you?   It would do no good.   You would still be the same arrogant, immature earl I have had the unfortunate circumstance to be wed to for the past four years."
    Now he frowned.  
    "Unfortunate circumstance?"  
    Sarah rolled her eyes at him.  
    "We were forced to wed, Alec.   What part of that circumstance seems all right to you?   Surely, you have not