For This Life Only by Stacey Kade

was almost up.
    â€œDid you really mean what you said?” I asked Thera. “About your mom lying about what she does?”
    Her mouth fell open slightly. “I don’t . . .” She frowned. “Why?”
    â€œI want to know if he’s okay,” I said, my voice gravelly and thick.
    Understanding dawned, and her expression softened. “I don’t know. I mean, there’s something. She knowsthings she shouldn’t. But if you’re asking for proof, I can’t help you there. I’m sorry.”
    The honesty hurt, but in some ways that was better than yet another attempt at comfort.
    I nodded. “Thanks.”
    â€œJacob?” Principal Drizen asked from his doorway, but his attention was focused on Thera. He shook his head at her with a sigh.
    I stood up. “You going to be all right?” I asked her under my breath, as Drizen moved back to make room for me.
    â€œSure,” she said. “Haven’t you heard? This place is like my second home.”
    â€œI’ll fix it,” I said, taking a step toward Drizen’s door.
    She straightened up. “I don’t need you to.”
    â€œMaybe it’s not for you,” I said quietly.

CHAPTER NINE
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    THE REST OF THE day dragged by, like I was slogging through knee-deep mud. Eli had been tutoring Thera. That was it. No secret, no hidden facet of his personality. And just like that, he was gone again. Relegated to memory.
    It reminded me of acolyting. Once the wick on the taper was lit, you had to find a balance. Feed the flame too much wick and you’d risk it growing out of control. But if you kept the flame small, you were taking the chance that your movement might extinguish it.
    Half the time as an acolyte, I’d moved too abruptly and the flame had flickered out before I made it to the other side of the altar.
    In the principal’s office, Drizen had greeted me with a handshake and a smile brimming with understanding, which made me want to scream.
    But I could use it.
    â€œI’m sorry for bothering you with this. It was a misunderstanding.” I channeled my best Eli as I lowered myself into the chair in front of Drizen’s desk. The hot seat normally, but today, Drizen was in compassionate-educator mode.
    â€œI’m sure emotions were running high. I understand that your brother was a great help to her with her class work.” Drizen paused. “Thera’s not a bad kid.”
    But his tone indicated that he thought otherwise.
    â€œShe just forgets that not everything has to be a fight,” he said, his mouth pinched with weariness and disapproval.
    I wondered how often Thera had been in his office over the last year. And how hard she’d had to fight to get someone to listen to her. I wouldn’t have listened before today.
    â€œIt wasn’t her fault,” I began. “I was—”
    Principal Drizen waved his hand, dismissing my attempt at speech. “It doesn’t matter. Thera put in a request to spend her exempt period in the library for additional hours as an aide, and I’m going to approve that. So it won’t be a problem again.”
    Then, having received a final sympathetic pat on my shoulder and a pass to my next class, I was released back into the wild, with no idea what had happened.
    Except that I felt like I’d lost something else. I just wasn’t sure what it was. The only bright spot in my whole day had come from the two-second conversation that Thera and I had where we weren’t yelling. When I’d blurted all that about not wanting to live with what I’d caused, she hadn’t put on a fake smile in response or gotten that panicked, oh-shit expression. She’d thought about it and actually answered me.
    I wished there could have been more of that.
    Now, after an afternoon that had stretched into eternity, I limped out the front doors. My mom’s minivan was nowhere in sight.
    I frowned.