said. “I know I should have called, but—”
“It’s okay.” He stepped aside, and she was surprised when he gave her a half-smile. “Come on in.”
Walking inside the living room, she found herself fixated on the little girl who sat in a highchair at the table.
“I was just feeding Lizzie some supper.” He gestured to an empty chair as he took a seat. “Sit down.”
There were only two chairs at the table, so she sank into one and then wondered if it had been his wife’s. “I just wanted to apologize for how I reacted the other night.”
He glanced at her as he brought a spoonful of baby food to Lizzie’s mouth. “It’s okay now, right? Now that you know I was married.”
She shook her head. “No…it’s not like that.”
He nodded, obviously not believing her. “I get it all the time. The looks people give me when I’m out with her. I can practically hear their thoughts. ‘Babies raising babies.’”
“You’re not a baby, Gage. You’re already an old man, and you’re just…what?
Sixteen? Seventeen?”
He stared at her for a minute. “Seventeen.”
“I think it’s cool, the way you’ve stepped up to the plate,” she rambled on, unable to shut her mouth. “Most guys would have taken off.”
“It’s not like the thought didn’t occur to me.” He scooped up another spoonful and held it in front of Lizzie. Smiling, she leaned forward and clamped her mouth around the spoon. “I was sixteen, on meth and partying all the time. The last thing I expected—or wanted—was for Peyton to get pregnant. Turns out it was exactly what I needed.”
“Were you in love with her?”
He froze with the spoon in midair, but only for a second, before he went on feeding his daughter. “Yes.”
“Do you think that’s why you didn’t take off?”
“I didn’t take off because it would have been the wrong thing to do,” he snapped. He watched her blink in surprise and swallow hard, and he felt guilty. He took an unsteady breath. “What is this, anyway? Twenty questions? You come to my place to pump me for information about my past, and you don’t get the clue to shut up.
That’s a little rude, don’t you think?”
“I’m sorry.”
She sounded automatic, defensive, and it only made him angrier. “You know all of this about me, and I don’t know a damn thing about you. Why do you buy drugs in Westview? Why’d you make out with that guy just because you were lonely? What do you want forgiveness for?”
“I don’t do drugs.” She glared at him as the anger fought its way to the surface.
“I come to Westview so I can sit outside the abortion clinic and wish I’d made a different choice.”
“You mean you—”
“Yeah.” She stared down at her hands, gripped together so tight they trembled and reminded her of chattering teeth on a bitter cold day. “I had an abortion.” She watched him carefully for a reaction, but he remained stone-faced and unsympathetic.
“Explains a lot,” he said.
“Does it?”
“Yeah.” He turned back to Lizzie. “You killed your baby, so now you hate yourself.”
“Hey!”
“Well, that’s what happened, isn’t it?” He eyed her. “I’m not saying it’s right or wrong, I’m just stating the facts. You keep acting like you expect me to spare your feelings, Kelly, but that’s not what you need.”
“What do I need?”
“You need to know that you did the best with the circumstances you had. This life…” He motioned to Lizzie and the tiny apartment. “Well, it’s not for everyone.”
“Why do you do it then?”
He thought for a while, staring at his little girl. “Because it’s worth it when she smiles. So, are you going to tell me the story or leave it up to my imagination?”
She shrugged. “It’s embarrassingly typical. Shy, quiet me, madly in love with the quarterback. We grew up together. I’ve known Alex my whole life. Then, about six months ago, I missed a period. We did the test together, and when it came
Kent Flannery, Joyce Marcus