Godless by Pete Hautman Page A

talking about tonight, though, right?” says Dan.
    â€œYes,” I say. “At midnight. The next midnight there is.”
    â€œTonight,” says Henry.
    â€œThat’s right. The High Priestess was making a technical point.”
    â€œWe’re going up tonight then,” says Henry. “All five of us.”
    â€œThat’s right.”
    Henry looks at Magda. “You going up too?”
    Magda raises her eyebrows, making her big eyes even bigger. “You got a problem with that?”
    â€œNot me. I just never met a girl that could climb.”
    â€œYou have now.”
    â€œWhat about Schinner?” Henry says, looking at me. “He doesn’t look like he could climb on a bus, let alone a water tower.”
    Shin opens his mouth.
    â€œWe’re all going up,” I say, intercepting whatever was about to come out of Shin’s mouth.
    Henry laughs. “Whatever you say, Your Holiness.”
    â€œPlease, I prefer to be addressed as ‘Your Kahunaness.’”
    â€œOkay, Kahunaness. I’ll be there at midnight.Anybody wants to come up is welcome.”
    â€œWhat are we going to do once we get up there?” Magda asks.
    â€œMidnight Mass,” I say. “Henry, our High Priest, is going to lead us in worship of the Ten-legged One.”
    â€œI am?”
    â€œSure. That’s what High Priests do.”
    â€œNot this High Priest.”
    â€œIt’s really easy, Henry. You just talk. Like, ‘Blessed are the climbers: for theirs is the kingdom of water. Blessed are those who reek: for they shall be cleansed. Blessed are they who thirst: for they shall drink the water of life….’ Like that.”
    Not exactly the Sermon on the Mount, but they seem impressed. Except for Shin, who is still busy sending thought daggers in Henry’s direction.
    â€œThat sounded pretty good. Blasphemous, but good,” says Magda. “I think
you
should lead the mass, Jason.”
    â€œThat’s fine with me,” Henry says.
    â€œI thought you wanted to be High Priest.”
    â€œYou
made
me High Priest. I never said I’d run your religious service.”
    Shin suddenly slides out of the booth, his lips working silently, his eyes glistening. He moves quickly toward the door in his jerky, high-elbowed gait.
    â€œSee ya tonight, Schinner,” Henry calls after him. He turns back to us. “What’s his problem?”
    â€œIs he okay?” Magda asks.
    â€œHe’ll be all right,” I say, hoping it’s true.
    â€œHe’s one weird dude,” Henry says. “Look how he walks. Like he’s trying to hold a golfball between his butt cheeks.”
    Dan and I laugh, but Magda doesn’t think it’s funny.
    â€œYou guys are mean,” she says.
    Maybe she’s right. I shouldn’t have laughed. I don’t blame Shin for being angry. I should have talked to him before making Henry a Chutengodian.
    â€œYou think we should go after him?” Dan says.
    â€œBetter not,” I say. I hate having to explain and defend Shin’s behavior. “I’ll talk to him later.” We need a change of subject. I slam my fist on the table. “Right now, I thirst! Brainblasters for everybody!”
    â€œYou buying?” says Dan.
    â€œThis round is on the CTG,” I say. “The church coffers will provide!”
    â€œThe church has money?” Magda says.
    â€œWe will as soon as we take up a collection.” I take off my baseball cap and set it upside down on the table. “Who’s going to be the first to make a contribution?”
    Nobody says anything for a couple of seconds, then Henry makes a suggestion.
    â€œYou are,” he says.
    I was afraid of that. I put my cap back on my head and trudge up to the counter to buy the drinks.
    The responsibilities of a religious leader are many and varied.
    And expensive.

 
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    A ND THEY LOOKED UP AND THEY SAW THE GREAT SILVER