Goose Girl by Giselle Renarde

 
     
    En route to meet her handsome prince,
Princess Svana begs her waiting-maid Rosamunda for a quick cuddle.
Rosamunda complies, then takes by force the princess' royal
apparel. Before Svana can say, "Identity Theft," the waiting-maid
marries her prince and the poor princess must take a job minding
geese. When the perv-y goose boy vexes her, the aged king hatches a
plan to get Rosamunda to reveal her identity.
     
     
    The Goose Girl
     
    Once upon a time, there were two old queens
who raised a beautiful daughter. With the undying love of the
community and a positive relationship with her birth mother,
Princess Svana, the mistress of her castle, grew into a happy and
well-adjusted individual. Her ideology embraced the concepts of
freedom and justice for all, a philosophy not particularly common
in the feudal era, but Svana always was ahead of her time.
    When she was quite young, Princess Svana was
betrothed to a fabulous prince whose father was a friend of the
queens' from way back in the disco epoch. Even the tabloid reports
confirmed prince Everitt was honorable, open-minded and handsome as
a fairy's own child. Svana couldn't have been more delighted with
the choice, or more excited about her future prospects. Despite her
personal principles, the queens had taught her the overarching
importance of good looks. A handsome husband meant everything.
    On the occasion of her eighteenth birthday,
it was time for Svana to take her leave of the caring queens and
marry the good royal. Unfortunately, prince Everitt lived at a
great distance. In preparation of her departure, the aged queens
packed for their daughter many costly trinkets, jewels, and cups
made of gold and silver. In short, they sent with Svana everything
which appertained to a royal dowry, for they loved their baby girl
with all their hearts.
    As you might expect, Svana was not
particularly happy to leave behind her many friends, the beloved
queens, her birth mom, her pets, and that green grocer who never
forgot to import a few mangos from faraway lands. So, to appease
their darling daughter, the queens sent along a maid-in-waiting,
Rosamunda. The strong-as-an-ox servant was to ride with the
princess and hand her over to the bridegroom, making very certain
nobody messed with their baby girl along the way. And messing with
Svana was a distinct temptation for all who beheld her, such was
her incredible beauty. Apart from that one time with the green
grocer, which didn't really count since it was underwater, she'd
managed to keep herself relatively un-messed-with.
    When the hour of parting arrived, the aged queens
and b-mom stood around their girl, weeping into a communal
handkerchief. How sad they were to see Svana go. In that moment,
darling b-mom took a small knife from the pocket of her frock and
cut her own finger. She held the tear-stained hanky to it, allowing
three drops of crimson peasant blood to absorb into the white
fabric. Feeling rather out in the cold, the queens pierced their
own fingers, but could not coax a single drop of blue blood from
their bodies.
    With a knowing smile, b-mom gave the hanky
to her only daughter and said, "Dear child, preserve this
carefully. It will be of service to you on your way."
    They embraced, the two queens, Svana, and
her birth mother, one last time, kissing each other's tear-stained
cheeks and wishing one another the best of health and fortune. It
would be a long while before they would all be together again, they
knew. Svana would miss her progenitor and her adoptive parents
every day of her existence, until they met once more in the castle
under her rule. Taking sorrowful leave of her mom and the queens,
the princess stuck the bloodstained piece of cloth in her tight
bosom, mounted her horse, and went away to her bridegroom.
    * * *
    Each woman, both the princess and the maid,
Rosamunda, had a horse for the journey, but there was something
quite unique about the mare the queens' daughter rode. She was
called Falada, and