Graduates in Wonderland by Jessica Pan Page A

much; be willing to quit eventually
    20.Have interesting group of friends, much like mine: very smart but also charming
    21.Must be intelligent about obscure topics
    22.Should appreciate my writing
    23.Should always over-­respond to my text messages and e-mails and initiate contact much of the time
    24.Should be adept at hunting, playing polo, and other terribly aristocratic activities
    25.Should be wonderful in bed
    STOP JUDGING ME.
    Oh: The point of that list being (and this is important) that you write it, you let it go, and then you get him! The universe just sends him your way. Like custom-­ordering stationery or a monogrammed pillowcase. That is the magic of it. And apparently it totally happened to all of these women in O magazine.
    You have to remember, though: You can’t go out looking for it. And you can’t live your life eliminating guys off your list because you think they don’t have these qualities. You just do this exercise once, give it to the universe, and then completely forget about it.
    Okay. There’s your daily dose of my self-­absorption. Now, yours.
    Love!
    Rach
    DECEMBER 30
    Two hours later
    Jess to Rachel
    â€œWonderful in bed” is a little vague to me. I imagine him performing magic tricks for you while you sit up in bed wearing a silk robe, clapping your hands, delighted. “It’s just wonderful!” Also, hunting and polo? Seriously? Well, at least someone will love those guys.
    For mine, I had to remember everyone I have ever dated or tried but failed to get.
    I took this pretty seriously with the mantra “Be careful what you wish for!” running through my head. What if I met the perfect guy who fit everything on my list, except he was a Scientologist who likes talking about motorcycles? What then? The universe would just reply, “Look, you gave me a list and I delivered. I gave you a man who has no body odor who likes Fleetwood Mac and now you want me to tweak him? Deal with it.”
    This is what I came up with:
    1.Very funny in my particular taste
    2.Adores me and only me
    3.Dark hair
    4.Beautiful hands
    5.Gorgeous smile
    6.Has close friends he confides in (If a guy doesn’t share his feelings with anyone, he doesn’t have any. Friends or feelings. Period. I’m not going to be the one to fix him.)
    7.I must find him very sexy. (Don’t care if the world thinks he’s gross as long as I don’t.)
    8.Secure enough to dance in public and be silly with me
    9.Will carry a conversation when I am being too awkward
    10.Intuitive
    11.Open-­minded and intelligent, but never condescending
    12.Nonreligious
    13.Taste in music is 80 percent like mine—­I couldn’t bear to resign myself to long drives listening to heavy metal or classic rock for the rest of my life.
    14.Gets excited about life and new experiences
    15.Polite to strangers
    16.Ambitious but not so much that he neglects me, finds me very lazy
    17.His presence must emanate safety, fun, and sexiness (like a firefighter).
    18.Capacity for deep feelings
    19.My singing, irrational habits, and snoring are endearing to him (this is a wish list, right?)
    20.Healthy
    21.Must not be a father yet
    22.Can be serious
    23.Loyal
    24.Provokes a racing heart
    25.Reads fiction and history
    26.Unpretentious
    27.Must have been looking for someone exactly like me, give or take fifteen pounds and a social smoking habit
    28.Deep voice
    29.Not too hairy
    30.Never smells bad (Unless stranded without access to soap—­then it is forgiven. I’m not a monster.)
    31.Spontaneous but not in the “Look at the new face tattoo I just got!” way
    32.Does not easily sunburn
    33.Really good at sex and acts that precede it
    34.Infinitely interesting, but not so much so that I feel infinitely boring in comparison
    35.Not self-­righteous
    36.Excellent memory (I feel like I’ve met so many guys who just can’t remember shit. What’s the point if they can’t