Gravity (Free Falling) by Raven St. Pierre

supposed to be doing…..whatever it is we’re doing,” I replied, folding my arms across my chest as I walked.
    At Ms. Jamison’s doorway, I hesitated and let AJ walk in before me just in case Leslie was watching.  He and I both took our seats and I sat there, still as ever with my hands folded and planted on top of my desk as I tried in vain to focus on something other than AJ.  It was strange to think how I’d sat beside him in this class for more than a month and never even took a second look.  I never would’ve thought that someone like him would even consider someone like me.  That’s not to say that I’m not a force to be reckoned with, but there’s a separation among races that isn’t often spoken of.  When I think of what specific men look for in a woman, to me, those preferences are influenced greatly by that man’s race.  For instance, as a general rule, most African-American men look for a woman with a little meat on her bones; kinda like me.  White guys like their women bone-thin and top heavy.  A “brotha” could generally care less if his woman had breasts or not as long as she looks like she was hauling freight behind her.  When I think of Asian men, I picture them with Asian women.  Period.  Mainly because that’s how I always see it.  So, it’s possible that I never picked AJ up on my radar for the simple fact that I wouldn’t have thought he’d reciprocate my interest.
    Unable to help myself, I stole a glance at him when Ms. Jamison instructed the class to turn to page 109 to read a passage .  I smiled and quickly looked down at my book when I realized that he was already watching me……and so was Leslie.  I shot her a tight smile and tried to pretend as though nothing had changed.  But that was a far cry from the truth.  Everything had changed.  How could I be so into Antonio just a few short days ago, and now preparing to break a date with him for another guy?  It just didn’t seem possible that someone’s feelings could get so mixed up so quickly, but I was living proof that it could happen. 
    The end of the day came much more quickly than I’d prepared myself for.  It was time to tell Antonio whatever I had to in order to ditch him and do what my heart was telling me to do.  He was daydreaming while watching me approach my locker where he always waited at the end of the day.  This wasn’t going to be easy, but I was surprisingly sure that I wanted to go through with it; the only problem was getting away with it. 
    “Ready?”  He asked.
    I almost lost my nerve….. almost .  “Actually, I’m gonna have to take a rain-check.  Cramps,” I said and then pointed to my stomach.  “I think I’m gonna head home and lay down until it passes.”  I hated the sound of a lie leaving my mouth.  Antonio leaned his head to the side and looked me up and down with scrutiny; almost like he wasn’t sure if he believed me or not.  I had to make it more convincing. “I think that may have had something to do with me feeling so bad yesterday.”
    He sighed and gave in to disappointment.  “Alright.  Maybe I’ll see if Brian’s busy.  He’ll probably wanna go.”
    “Ok ay, I’ll text you later if I feel up to it,” I replied and then checked the time on my phone before stuffing my bag in my locker and grabbing my purse and keys from the hook.
    “I’ll still walk you to your car,” he insisted.
    With a forced smile, I replied.  “Okay.”  This wasn’t good.  AJ would be waiting on me and if I didn’t get to him soon, he’d either have to leave without me or he’d think I was chickening out and would just go to practice.  I had to think quickly, so I took out my phone and sent him a message to just meet me at my house.  That was smarter anyway just in case Antonio decided to go all Sherlock Holmes and ride past my house later to see if I was telling the truth. 
    We stood beside my Civic for a moment and I couldn’t really see A.J’s car where