Grinder (Seattle Sharks Book 1) by Samantha Whiskey

altering shake-up.
    She’d been like that since we were kids, and I knew she was always the most dangerous when she was quiet...and she’d been silent since we left the rink.
    “Are you going to say anything?” Bailey asked as I threw my keys on the kitchen counter.
    “What would you like me to say?” I snapped, grabbing a bottle of water from the refrigerator.
    “Gage, you get to be mad about her asking those questions. You can talk to me.”
    “Of course I’m pissed,” I said, slamming the door shut. “But talking about it isn’t going to help.”
    Bailey leaned back against the opposite counter and folded her arms over the Seattle Sharks logo on her chest. “What are you more nervous about? Seeing Adkins or Helen?”
    My head snapped up. “I’m over it. Both of them.”
    “No, you’re not.”
    “Why the hell do you think that?”
    “Because you won’t take a chance on us.”
    “What the fuck does that have to do with any of this?” I fired back.
    She arched an eyebrow at my raised voice. “You think I’ll leave. You think if we act on whatever this is between us that I’ll leave and it will destroy Lettie, right?”
    I peeled the label on my water bottle. “Maybe. What about it?”
    “I’m not Helen!”
    I winced. “You’re not. But shit happens, Bailey. We’ve been friends for what? Twenty years? Relationships fail. People walk out. My mom left my dad, Helen left me. People leave.”
    “It is so damn unfair to loop me into that assumption.”
    “You left once upon a time,” I countered.
    “For college!”
    I leaned forward, bracing my hands on the island. If she wanted to go rounds, I’d go. “And how long before you walk out? Fuck, Bailey. You’re going to leave, it’s just a matter of time.”
    Man, if looks could have killed, I would have been in a chalk outline.
    “You’re an asshole.”
    “You’re not going to get an argument from me. Look, what we have here, this incredible chemistry...it’ll fade. Yes, I want to fuck you. I want nothing more than to lift you onto this counter, slide your pants off and bury myself in you so deep that you can taste me. Hell, I’d love to do it while you’re wearing my name on your back, so go ahead and leave the jersey on.”
    She winced, and I hated myself for the words, but they had to be said.
    “Is that all I’d be for you? Another puck bunny to warm up your bed? Another nameless fuck? God, Gage, you’ve been one of my best friends since I can remember, and that’s what this comes down to?”
    I ripped my hand over my hair. “No. God damn it. I just mean that we’d eventually fuck each other out of our systems, and then what? Would you still stay here for Lettie? Eventually you. Will. Leave.”
    “You don’t know that it would go badly!”
    “But I do! Bailey, don’t you want a family? Kids of your own? An art gallery?”
    She blinked. “Well, yeah. You’re saying those things could never happen if we were together? If we took a chance on this?”
    “No more kids.”
    Her head snapped like I’d slapped her. “What? You’re a phenomenal father, Gage.”
    “Yeah, to one kid. I love Lettie more than life. She’s got my whole heart—whatever’s left of it. But I know that I’ll never trust a relationship enough to have another kid. It’s not fair to them when shit goes south.” I’d sliced myself open with that realization a long time ago.
    She shook her head. “Yeah, you’re over Helen, alright.”
    “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”
    “You are letting her taint your whole life! You won’t take a chance on me because I might leave and hurt you—hurt Lettie. You won’t take a chance with anyone for the same damn reason. You’ve given her all the power, and she doesn’t deserve it!”
    “I’m protecting my daughter.”
    “You’re protecting yourself!” She pointed a finger at me. “You know what? You don’t want to try with me? Fine.”
    “That’s not what I said.” I came around the