Hard: A Military Stepbrother Romance by Lara Swann Page A

mother’s coercion,
I was still heading there for dinner - which was turning out to be some of the
more awkward experiences of my life, as Bella and I ignored each other and our
parents tried to make small talk, mostly about the upcoming wedding. Something
neither of us had any interest in, though Bella was doing better than me at
showing some enthusiasm. Apparently they were slating it for the end of summer
- and I found myself selfishly hoping I was deployed again by then, mostly so I
wouldn’t have to be around when Bella becomes my step-sister in truth. The
familiar irritation at that thought flared again, made worse as my gaze
lingered on Ray casually kissing his wife's temple before moving off to get
something from the kitchen.
    “Drives
me crazy sometimes, you know.”
    I
looked up as Becky swung her leg over the picnic bench beside me, sliding
another beer along to me and taking a sip of her own.
    “Huh?”
    She
nodded again towards Fiona.
    “I
love them to bits of course, but god...makes me miss Ryan something fierce.”
    It
took me a moment to work out what she was talking about. Becky didn’t usually
talk that way and her observation was uncomfortably in line with my own
thoughts. I took a swig from the bottle with a shrug, glancing over to Fiona as
I spoke without thinking.
    “He’s
lucky to have her.”
    “Pfff,
you're all lucky that anyone can put up with your exasperating male egos.”      
    “Hah,
you know how irresistible that masculine charm is to you ladies.”
    Her
eyes sparked as she met my gaze, grinning and clinking her beer against mine in
acquiescence.
    “Can't
deny it...so you still wrecking the local bars these days?”
    My
mind skipped to those familiar haunts; picturing the way I usually blew off
steam after a hard time in some desolate barren with the kind of girls who were
only too eager to throw themselves after those charms. Tonight the idea of that
felt somehow empty and I shrugged, not liking where this was leading.
    “Not
so much, Becks - caught up at my stepfather-to-be’s mansion up on the coast
lately.”
    “Ah
yes, Dale mentioned. Your mother alright?”
    Her
tone was casual, but I couldn’t miss the way her eyes sharpened. She’d never
say a word - none of these guys would - but Becky had very firm ideas on what
being a mother meant. It wasn’t her fault that most of the world didn’t seem to
share them, but my stomach tightened further anyway and I downed a good quarter
of the beer to take the edge off.
    “Yeah,
beyond getting in the way of all those girls’ hopes and dreams downtown, she’s
fine. How’s Tyler’s baseball coming along?”
    She
let her gaze linger for just a moment, seeing too much before she let me get
away with changing the subject. Running a hand through her hair, Becky smiled
as she recited Tyler’s exploits with a mother’s pride that I only ribbed her a
little for.
    The
conversation became light and easy, but my mind was still stuck on where it had
been before. I kept glancing over towards Ray and Fiona, and even looking at
Becky prompted difficult thoughts, with her family surrounding us and the quiet
fierceness she gave to everyone and everything. It had never been something I
wanted - I hadn’t ever believed in being with anyone for good, long before I
became a SEAL and realized it was completely impossible. Even if I was
interested in the idea, I couldn’t ask that of anyone; to live with the sudden
disappearances; the knowledge I might be killed or captured at any point; the
fact that I would always put my brothers and country first? No girl should have
to deal with that. At least, not anyone worth being with.
    Becky’s
obvious pride and satisfaction as she looked around at her newly painted walls
and the warmth of our makeshift gathering put the lie to my thoughts, but that
wasn’t somewhere I wanted to go.
    Damn
it. Stupid girl and stupid, fucked up thoughts…
    Bella
had been on my mind far too frequently the last few