Hard: A Military Stepbrother Romance by Lara Swann

have them too one day.”
    His
wink had the other man grinning, no doubt thinking of the girl Dale had
mentioned a few days ago. He hadn’t brought her in the end, no doubt deciding
it was a little early for this kind of gathering, and part of me was glad for
it.
    Running
around with Ryan’s kids had been every kind of antidote I could have wanted to
the irritation and mixed feelings of the last few days, but even after all
that, every time my eyes caught Ray or Fiona something tightened in my stomach.
    Taking
a breath, I dismissed the strange feeling and grabbed a plate of burgers from
the BBQ, helping Dale finish divvying up the food before sitting down and
piling my own plate with a good deal of what remained.
    As
the boys regaled their mother with their tales of bravery and danger - paying
no mind to interrupting her conversation with Fiona - and we chipped in with
some flavor of our own, I found myself relaxing again.
    When
I’d signed up for the insanity that was becoming a SEAL, I’d done it to prove
myself as the most badass motherfucker around - but I'd found something else
entirely. BUD/S had quickly made it clear that tough one-man-army types had no
chance. The hot-shots dropped out as we realized that SEAL training wasn’t
about who could run the fastest, swim the furthest or do push-ups for hours. No
one had the endurance for what we were put through, and no one was getting
through it on their own.
    By
the end, it came down to those who could handle the failure and exhaustion, and
understood that the only way to win was to refuse to give up…the guys who came
out of that weren’t the ones you bet on in the beginning - they were those who
had a solid core, an inner certainty and strength that could be sensed, but not
seen. And those that would sooner die than let their teammates down. For a guy
who’d never had anyone to watch his back in his life, that idea was alien - but
it had intoxicated me. I’d spent so long fighting and railing alone against the
world that I almost failed before I let myself rely on the men around me.
    The
moment I got it, though - everything clicked into place. Those darkest, coldest
nights of my life gave me people I could trust, who were going to get me
through it no matter what, simply because we were a team - and during the worst
moments, that ended up being the only thing left that was worth fighting for.
    When
I came out of it, that same unshakable bond was waiting for me with every SEAL
I’ve served with since. BUD/S and my first tour showed me that I wasn’t alone
anymore - and unexpectedly, I discovered that I liked it that way.
    To
my surprise, that had extended to their families as well, forming a close-knit
group that gave each of us the reassurance that those we loved would always be
taken care of, whatever happened. I hadn't really understood just how important
that was until Ryan invited me round the first time and I'd seen what he had in
Becky and the kids. The way her eyes followed him - the fierce pride and quiet
acceptance of who he was - had challenged my idea of what a family life was.
    Most
of us never expected to get something like that, of course - there was a reason
SEAL divorce rates were so damned high - so we all respected the special kind
of woman who could deal with the craziness we inflicted on those around us, and
we did what we could to support those that tried for it.
    Ray
and Fiona gave off the same vibe, their eyes never far from each other even as
they laughed with different groups of people. It was the sort of thing that I
usually had a unique appreciation for, but tonight my mood was shifting all
over the place, and it was drawing me out of the casual banter with an
uncomfortable bitter-sweetness. Which was ridiculous, but the distraction of
Becky’s kids hadn't quite managed to take the edge off my last few days around
Bella - or, rather, days spent avoiding her.
    I’d
managed to mostly stick to that resolution, but thanks to my