Hate Me Today (Save Me #3) by Katheryn Kiden Page A

out of the booth and steps toward me. Her hands hesitantly wrap around mine and she pulls my phone away and sets it on the table before grabbing my hand again.
    She looks up at me as she tightens her grip on my fingers. “Who is Carter?”
    “My brother,” I mumble.
    Vanessa nods and one of her hands slides up and rests on my forearm. The heat of her skin on mine calms me for some reason. There is no room inside me for the pent up anger I hold against her right now.
    “Brother,” she nods, “ OK. What happened?”
    I take a deep breath and stare at her. Her whiskey brown eyes feel like they’re seeing into my damn soul and it scares the hell out of me.
    “He- he tried to-” I blow out a shaky breath and when I finally say the words; my voice cracks, showing just how weak I really am right now. “Tried to commit suicide.”
    The words finally tumble out of my mouth and I break. Everything that has happened over the last few years, hell, throughout my life, comes crashing down on me and in the first time in as long as I can remember , tears roll out of my eyes and stream silently down my face.
    First , all of the shit Abby went through. Then Alex died. Then Tuesday gets kidnapped and all her shit. Now my brother. My eighteen year old brother tries to commit suicide. Why the hell would he do something like this? Why the hell wouldn’t he talk to me about this shit? My body falls to the couch and Vanessa gets dragged along with me, managing to stop before she falls on top of me. Her thighs rest against my knees and when I look up she’s staring down at me like she actually cares. I can't take it. She shouldn’t be looking at me like that after all the shit I have put her through. I’ve been such an ass to her that thinking back it makes me sick. My head hangs in shame as I remember everything I’ve done to her and all the times I haven’t been there for Carter because of this job. The job that I love.
    I jump when Vanessa’s fingers run through my hair, her fingernails scraping slightly against my scalp as she strokes back and forth. She pulls me closer until my head rests against her stomach.
    “Who were you trying to call?” she whispers as she steps back to grab my phone off the table. When she’s back close enough for me to touch I reach out and pull her back to me. Resting my head back where it was and wrapping my fingers around the back of her thighs. I don’t know what the hell I’m doing. I know I should stop, push her away, but I can’t. She stiffens for a second before dragging her hand back through my hair again.
    “Who were you calling at this hour?” she asks again.
    “Abby,” I say gruffly against her stomach. “Gotta get back. I need to be there.”
    “I know,” she whispers sadly.
    Before I know it Vanessa has called Abby and told her what was going on before finding out how much longer until we would hit Nashville, all while she never stops touching me. What I heard didn’t please me at all. Three hours of not knowing what was going on, of feeling helpless, of not knowing what was going to happen. My fingers grip into the back of her thighs, pulling her tighter into me after she sets my phone back down. I move my head slightly and the edge of her shirt lifts, exposing a sliver of skin. Without thinking I press my lips against her stomach. Her fingers still and I feel self-conscious about what I just did.
    “Don’t stop,” I beg, “please don’t stop.”
    Her touching me is the only thing keeping my mind here; keeping me from falling into a place I don’t ever want to be again. Which is weird because usually I hate being touched.
    Vanessa’s hands move down to my neck and she lifts my face until I’m looking at her. “What do you need? Just tell me.”
    Without thinking I lift her by her thighs and pull her so she is straddling my lap. She grips my shoulders to keep from falling until I have her where I want her and her fingers finally find their way back into my hair. My