Hate Me Today (Save Me #3) by Katheryn Kiden Page B

cock starts to harden when her ass settles against my lap.
    Staring at me she speaks softly. “I can’t do the whole hate sex thing again, Jason. I can’t spend tonight doing this and wake up tomorrow not knowing what you’re going to do to make me regret it. I can't handle you hating me anymore and not knowing why.”
    I pull her mouth to mine, sucking gently on her lip before letting my head drop back and allowing myself to forget everything that is happening right now and just admire Vanessa as she slides her hands through her hair. How the hell did I not notice how fucking beautiful she was before? Oh that’s right. I was too busy fucking hating her. And where did that get me? Nowhere worth being is where. I look at her, hating that I can see the sadness etched across her face every time a car passes us. Knowing that I’m the reason for it. I tuck a loose strand of hair back behind her ear before saying the only thing in my head that doesn’t involve Carter. All I want to do is get lost in her. Bury myself so deep inside her that nothing else matters. I want to keep myself there until we hit Nashville and the real world comes crashing back down on me.
    “I couldn’t hate you right now even if I wanted to.”
     

Vanessa
    I don’t know how to handle the situation so I just keep staring into Jason’s eyes while I drag my fingernails against his scalp. His body is coiled so tightly I know that if I say the wrong thing he could snap and I thought I had said it by telling him that I couldn’t do that again. What I didn’t expect was for him to tell me he couldn’t hate me right now if he tried.
    “You know,” I whisper as his hands slide under the hem of my shirt. His fingers graze my skin, leaving a trail of fire where they touch. “I don’t even know why you hated me to begin with.”
    He tenses up more, his hands dropping to the edge of the couch and he averts his gaze. “I don’t like people using my family for personal gain.” His voice is so quiet that I hear it, but it crushes my heart that he thinks I would ever do anything like that.
    “What are you talking about, Jason?”
    “You used Abby to get here. You got to her when she couldn’t even remember who she was.” He grinds his teeth as he speaks and I know that I probably shouldn’t keep pushing the subject but now that I know what it is about I can’t drop it.
    I jump up from his lap and back up until my back hits the counter. “I would never do that. And you weren’t there so you don’t know what even happened.”
    “I know that one of my best friends almost died, lost her memory and met you at the hospital. Obviously you used her being sick to your advantage.”
    The usual venom in his voice is back but I don’t plan on backing down until he knows the truth this time. I’m tired of being hated for shit I didn’t even do.
    “And obviously you don’t know what you’re talking about. Yes, I met Abby then. Yes, she was sick. But there was a chance I was dying! There’s still a chance that my body could reject everything I’ve done and I could die anyway! I didn’t talk to her to weasel my way in here. I talked to her because she looked sad and alone and I knew how that felt. I still know how that feels!”
    Jason jumps to his feet and stalks toward me. “Bullshit. She wasn’t alone. There was always someone there with her!”
    “Being alone and feeling alone are two very different things Jason. For four years I was never alone, ever, but I never felt more alone than I did then. Christ, more alone than I still do. I stand up in front of thousands of people and live on this crowded bus with all you guys and I’m still alone.”
    His eyebrows draw together as he stares at me in the darkness. “Then how did she know you could sing.”
    “Because she asked me what kept me going through all the bullshit, what kept my mind off the fact that I could die. When I told her it was music I didn’t expect her to want me to sing to her