Heart's Desire by Laura Pedersen Page B

the cushions, which I assume is his version of an exclamation point.
    I take Olivia aside and tell her about Doris.
    “Oh,”
she says, and then whispers back, “The name
Doris
is from the Greek language and means ‘a sacrificial knife.’ ”
    Meanwhile, Ottavio goes around the room offering coffee to everyone. Only I’m sick of coffee and return to the kitchen for a chocolate Yoo-hoo, since I’d noticed that Bernard had put in a good supply as part of my sign-on bonus.
    Unfortunately the scene I come across now is exactly like the one with Professor Harris at college. Bernard is giving the unabridged version of the breakup to Officer Rich, who is nodding his head sympathetically. Only, with his large hands and bowling-pin body, Officer Rich appears uncomfortable in the role of confidant for a failed romance, especially one that involves two men.
    “Uh, Officer Rich,” I say, “Olivia wants to see you in the living room.”
    Officer Rich knows that I’m lying but he appears relieved. Normally when he has to pay an official visit to the Stockton house it’s because Olivia has been causing some sort of public disturbance as a result of her many protests. And on those occasions, Bernard is the one who undertakes the role of the voice of reason, usually employing checkbook diplomacy to keep his mother out of the hoosegow.
    “I did
not
attempt to take the swim that needs no towel,” a depressed Bernard says with all the indignation he can muster.
    “Whether you did or didn’t,” I say, “you’d better pull yourself together, because Olivia is threatening to rent you a rubber room over at Dalewood so you can write recipes on the walls with a purple marker between your toes!”
    “What difference does it make?” he says with enough doom to qualify as one of Shakespeare’s tragic heroes in his final scene.
    “It makes a
big
difference,” I answer. “The yard looks like a hurricane swept through it. When was the last time anyone pulled a weed around here? The flower beds haven’t been turned, there are mulch piles of last year’s leaves everywhere, and no one has placed an order at the garden center.”
    “I’ve been preoccupied,” he says.
    “Yeah, well I got preoccupied with a few guys at school and yet I somehow managed to pass all my classes.”
    “
Please,
Hallie.” He doesn’t mean for his voice to be unkind, I know, but that’s how it sounds. “Gil and I were together for twelve years. This wasn’t some
little college fling.
”
    “What does
that
mean?” I say angrily. “That I don’t have a heart or feelings? That I don’t fall in love and wonder and worry whether he’s the person I want to spend the rest of my life with?”
    “I simply meant that you have no idea—”
    “Bertie,” Olivia calls as she enters the kitchen. She’s never been one to eavesdrop on other people’s arguments and always gives warning before entering a room of raised voices. “They’ve gone.”
    “I don’t know why you had to call them in the first place!” he snarls, still fuming at her.
    “Because Rocky woke me up and I found you slumped over the kitchen table next to an empty pill bottle!”
    “I was
resting,
” insists Bernard. “And it was
aspirin.
”
    “Can you blame me for worrying that you’ve not been drawing a clear distinction between
letting go
and
giving up.
” Olivia turns to me. “Hallie, it’s not even five o’clock. Everyone else has gone back to bed. Why don’t you do the same and I’ll sit up with Bertie.” She goes over to the stove and turns on the gas for the teakettle.
    I’m surprised Bernard doesn’t stop her from touching the stove, because she’s always forgetting to fill the kettle with water or else leaving the house without remembering to switch off the gas. But he just slouches in his chair, wearing the ravaged expression of an earthquake survivor. I add some water to the kettle just to be safe.
    “I don’t
need
anyone to
sit
with me, Mother,” says