Hell's Revenge by Eve Langlais Page A

I sputtered.
    “Of course I was. Do you realize this will be my first non-demonic granddaughter?” I gaped at my dad. “Holy fuck. You’re actually excited about this. Didn’t Nefertiti tell you that my little bun in the oven might end the world?” Dad shrugged. “A little apocalypse never caused permanent damage. Heck, my brother God threw a temper tantrum years ago and flooded the mortal plane. People called it the end of the world at the time, but what do you know, humanity made a comeback with the help of that Noah fellow.”
    I couldn’t help myself. I laughed. “I love you dad.” My father, Lord of the pit, scourge of mankind, squirmed, and while I couldn’t be sure with his tanned complexion, I think he even blushed. “Yes, well, I’m fond of you too. Just don’t tell anyone.”
    I loved these rare mushy moments where my dad, in his own perverse way, showed me his affection. “Don’t worry, no one would believe me anyway,” I replied with a smirk. “Any news on Azazel?” I asked before taking a big bite of the banana David placed in front of me. It seemed my men were determined to make sure I ate well, their way of showing support and love for me and our child. It was enough to make me gag, but I’d allow it for now. Besides, if they intended to keep feeding me, I’d enjoy it. My appetite currently knew no bounds.
    “My hunter found Azazel’s tracks coming out of the Styx, but then lost them when they disappeared into the wilds of Hell. We’re assembling some squads to go in after him.”
    “Maybe we’ll get lucky and something will eat him,” I grumbled.
    “The spell of immortality has been pulled from him, so you may get your wish. On another note, your mother really wants to speak with you.” My dad tossed that out there and then retreated behind the kitchen island. Ha, like that flimsy barrier would stop me if I got pissed.
    I scowled. “Sure she wants to talk to me. I mean, she’s so keen on reconnecting, that’s why she hasn’t called.” And no, that ache in my heart had nothing to do with her lack of attempt to reconcile.
    My dad grinned. “She’s afraid you’ll crawl through the phone to strangle her. You really made quite the impression on her.”
    I chortled. “Good.”
    “I think we should talk with her,” Auric chimed in.
    I glared daggers at him. “I have nothing to say to that woman.” I lied. I had a zillion questions, but given my recent emotional stability, I doubted my ability to ask them and then receive the answers without turning into a blubbering mess. Given a choice, I’d take my usual psychotic self over emotional any day.
    My dad sighed. “That’s what I thought you’d say, but I told Gaia I’d try. If you change your mind, here’s her number.”
    He slid a great big green leaf over to me and with a you’ve-got-to-be-kidding-me look, I took it. It seemed higher powers just couldn’t do things in a normal fashion.
    Whatever happened to scribbling a real phone number on a napkin? I stored the leaf for later use—I never knew when we might run out of toilet paper.
    I chatted with my dad as he outlined grandiose plans he had for creating a playroom in his castle for his granddaughter with all the best inventions a child could ask for. I did have to point out that it’d be a couple of years before she could play Rock Band with my dad and lovers. That didn’t stop them at all from arguing over who got to be drummer.
    The whole thing touched me and threatened to draw more dreaded tears. I am turning into a ginormous pussy.
    I wandered away from them over to the bank of windows. I stared unseeing outside, the cogs of the wheel in my mind turning and churning out a plan. The type of plan my consort and kitty cat wouldn’t like at all.
    A little voice in my head niggled me about the fact I’d promised Auric to not lie and come up with these brilliant ideas without involving him. However, some shames, such as why my own mother ditched me and refused to