Her Younger Man (A Country Music Romance): a Renny and Rachel Romance by Nancy MacLaren Page B

next to Renny, the twinkle in his eye. This is what it would always be like when we went out. As long as we stayed around people my age he could go unnoticed but the younger crowd, his crowd, they knew him. He was famous. He looked right with these women. Everything Reade had said rushed into my mind. Every doubt or fear I had about this relationship crowded my vision. I had to get away before I had a full-blown panic attack and totally embarrassed myself and Renny. I walked down the street, my back turned to the scene.
    Ren caught up with me a few moments later. “Sorry about that,” he said, breathless and happy.
    “No problem. Goes with the territory, I suppose.”
    He tried to grab my hand but I deftly avoided it and kept walking.
    “Why did you leave? Are you angry?”
    “No, I just felt like walking a bit.”
    “Great idea! Walk off the crawdads. I know a great place to view downtown. You game?”
    “I guess.”
    He managed to grab my hand and I didn’t pull away, partly because I wasn’t ready to talk about my feeling and partly because it felt wonderful, walking in the cool night air, with this warm and funny man, our hands entwined. Still, each time we encountered other walkers, which was often, I ducked my head and looked away. We didn’t talk as we walked which I preferred since I had no idea what to say. My head was telling me to break away as soon as possible, to protect myself from this certain car wreck. My heart was happier than it had been in decades, and it was screaming STAY!
    We found the bench with the view after climbing a few stairs and sat down to a panoramic view of Toronto. It was glorious! I generally think that Portland is the most beautiful city in the world but I am prejudiced by how much I love it there. Toronto, at least at night, was giving it a run for the title.
    We sat quietly and I was finally calming down when Renny put his arm around me and drew me in. I stiffened under his caress and he broke the tension.
    “What the hell is going on with you tonight?”
    “What do you mean? I’m fine.”
    “You’re not fine. You’re distant and weird. What did I do now? Was it the girls?”
    “No,” I snapped too quickly. “You didn’t do anything.” I shifted in my seat, inching away just the slightest.
    “But you admit you’re distant and weird?”
    “I… just had a lot of time to think today.”
    “I knew you were mad at me. I am sorry. I had no idea the piano issue would come up today. We usually don’t sound check until the day of the event. I’m glad we did today because the piano was in bad shape. It’s not what I wanted to do today. I didn’t invite you here to ignore you all day. I should have said no.” He tried to put his arm around me again but I pushed it away.
    “It’s fine. I enjoyed the room and the down time. It really isn’t that.”
    “It’s something. You won’t even let me touch you.”
    I took a moment to ask myself if I was really ready to have this conversation. Did I want to remind Renny why he should send me back to Portland on the next plane? My heart told me to shut the fuck up and enjoy whatever time Ren gave me but my heart hasn’t been in charge of me for a long time.
    He is a patient man, but he finally got up, walked a couple of paces and then loomed over me. “What? Tell me. Please, Rachel. You’re making me very nervous.”
    “I guess I just wonder, I just don’t understand… what the hell you’re doing with me?”
    “What?”
    “Aside from the obvious, I’m not where you are in your life. I have nothing to offer you.”
    “You’re joking, right?”
    “I wasn’t, no.”
    He sat back beside me before speaking. His face was as earnest as it had been when he had sung that beautiful song he’d written for me. Was that just two weeks ago?
    “You have nothing to offer me?  You are, without exception, the most intelligent, compassionate and funniest woman I’ve ever met. You don’t know the women I meet Rach. You saw a