His Robot Girlfriend by Wesley Allison Page B

as good too. He feasted on
oysters, crab legs, and sliced prime rib, asparagus, garlic herb
potatoes, and fried okra. He found that he filled quickly and
didn’t have room for desert though. He didn’t have to pay for
Patience. She was recognized as a robot by the robot at the
counter.
    “ I understand one robot
recognizing another,” he said. “But how did that security guard
know? I don’t think most people at the beach could tell you weren’t
human, and that was under the bright sun.”
    “ They have electronic
detectors all around the casino,” said Patience. “I can feel the
magnetic field they give off.”
    “ Really?”
    “ They want to make sure
that a robot is not allowed to gamble. With a computer brain and
heightened senses, I would not be fooled by the randomizing efforts
used in gambling games. I would win.”
    “ Really?”
    “ Yes.”
    “ Well, I guess they can’t
have that.”
    Patience smiled.
    After dinner, they walked through the casino
and out the front entrance of the hotel. Mike didn’t want to bother
with his car, so he had a robot valet hail a taxi for them. Once
inside, Patience directed the driver, Mike recognized him as a
Gizmo Servbot, to take them to the “finest gentleman’s club” in the
area. Mike knew that the driver would take them to whichever strip
club paid the biggest kickback to the taxi company. He wondered if
Patience knew that as well. Had they included that in her memory
banks? Had she read it in Fodor’s Guide?
    A quick drive to and then down the fabulous
Las Vegas Strip brought them to the Olympic Gardens. It was a large
warehouse looking structure that had been done over with faux Greek
Columns (Doric columns, Mike noted) and ivy. In between each pair
of columns was a huge poster of some fabulously beautiful and
scantily clad female (or male!) stripper. Inside, the main room was
decorated in red satin, with dozens of tables and booths
surrounding a large main stage, which featured the required dancing
pole.
    Mike and Patience sat down at a large round
booth. A waitress dressed and coifed as though she had fallen out
of a gladiator movie came and took their drink orders. It was dark
enough that Mike couldn’t tell if she was a robot or not. Though he
did not drink as a rule, he ordered a Beefeater and tonic.
Patience, of course, had bottled water. The bill came to $82.00,
not including tip. Mike was surprised to see people eating as they
watched the strippers. Such traditional ancient Greek cuisine as
hot dogs and spicy chicken fingers seemed most popular.
    As they sat, the first dancer came on stage.
She was introduced by a hidden announcer as Bailey. She was young
and blonde and quite attractive. Physically, she was proportioned
about the same as Patience, but her large breasts did not have that
feeling of defying gravity that Patience’s did. She came out in a
pink mini-skirt and top, both zippered in front and in back. As she
strutted up and down the stage, she unzipped first one and then the
other. With a single flip, she removed both, allowing those huge
breasts to bounce free and revealing a tiny g-string. She grabbed
hold of the pole and began humping against it, spinning, and
gyrating. A few moments later, she finished her routine and left
the stage.
    Several other dancers followed the first,
each with a similar routine. There was a red-head named Tania with
breasts so large that they actually frightened Mike a little bit.
There was a pretty and quite athletic dancer named Sugar, and a
chubby blonde stripper named Malachai, of all things. Yes, a girl
named Malachai.
    It was approaching midnight by this time, but
rather than thinning out, the crowd got larger. Almost every table
was full. Mike and Patience still managed to get another drink
order from the harried waitress. Then a woman came out on stage.
She appeared to be another dancer, but instead of beginning a
routine, she put a microphone to her bright red lips and made an
announcement.
    “