needed from her. But he didnât want to pressure her. He liked Ferrin and wanted...a future?
Right. He had no future unless he could clear up the mystery of Staciaâs death. And his gut was saying the answer was on those missing gym tapes.
She tipped her head back and glanced up at the sky. It was hard to see the stars here, but the moon was full. Big and bright. She nibbled her bottom lip and he wondered what was going on in her mind.
She wasnât carrying around the past like a fifty-pound weight the way he was. âWhatâs on your mind?â
Wrapping her arm around her waist, she looked over at him, but her eyes didnât meet his. âI was jealous of a toddler today.â
âConner has a great life,â Hunter said. âI think he deserves it but I can see why it might inspire jealousy.â
âNo you canât. Even though you wanted to be a football player instead of a cowboy, you still had something to connect with your dad.â
âYou didnât?â
âNo. Part of the reason Iâm reluctant to go through any of Dadâs files is the fact that it stirs up old resentments. Old feelings of inadequacy in myself.â
He draped his arm over her shoulder and hugged her. âBut you can catch now.â
She laughed but it was forced.
âWhatâs the matter?â
âNot everything can be laughed away. Iâm twenty-five, Hunter. I shouldnât be jealous of a toddler because his dad loves him,â she said. âMaybe thatâs too intense for you and not what you are thinking about in terms of me and you, but there it is. Those files you want to look at, Iâd just as soon burn them, because they represent everything that he loved more than me.â
Hunter let his arm fall from her shoulders and leaned forward, putting his head in his hands. God, he didnât need these complicationsâhe needed to see those files. Heâd gone as far as he could with stories and hearsay. He needed some kind of evidence that other co-eds had been attacked so that the girls involved could come forward and help them find the person whoâd killed Stacia. He sympathized with how Ferrin was struggling with her past. Being back in the house that was Coachâs and not really hers was making her a little edgy. Hunter understood. But how would he ever get past barriers like this?
âI joke because it pisses me off, Ferrin. It makes me mad on your behalf. Youâre right when you said my dad and I connected. He might have thought I was being foolish to try to make a living off of football but he loved me enough to give me the room to try. I donât understand how Coach could be so good at motivating us and so horrible at parenting you.
âAnd Iâm frustrated that no matter how much I show you my life and myself you keep doubting me. I get that you donât want to upset your dadâbelieve I understand it more than you probably think I doâbut I need those answers to be able to see a future for myself. I want those files to make sure that when Conner goes to school kids donât point and stare because their parents remember King and I being arrested for a murder we didnât commit. And I want Stacia to finally rest in peace.â
âIâm sorry,â she said, quietly. âTruly I am. It might seem selfish to youââ
âIt doesnât. I meant it when I said I get how delicate your relationship with your father is.â
âMaybeââ
âDonât. I donât want you to make a promise that will be hard to keep. Just know that nothing with you is a game to me.â
He couldnât push her further for access to the records. Not now. He wanted Ferrin to feel comfortable with him and in her own skin. He sat back and she put her head on his shoulder.
* * *
Ferrin pulled away as they heard footsteps behind them.
âSorry to interrupt but Ferrinâs phone keeps