Honor Thy Thug by Wahida Clark

eyes rolled back into her head as if she was in deep thought. Then she said, “So my mommy is not dead?”
    “No, baby, she’s not,” Trae answered.
    “Awesome!” she shrieked, and started jumping up and down. “So where is she? Is she home? What about my dad? Is my dad with her?”
    “She’s on her way over here, and no, your dad is not with her. So go get cleaned up so you can be ready to see your mother. She can’t wait to see you.”
    “I can’t wait to see her, either. Thank you, Uncle Trae and Auntie Tasha.” She gave me a hug and ran up onto the porch to give Trae one. Then she turned to me. “Auntie Tasha, can you fix my bang? Oh, wait! First, I gotta tell the twins that my mommy isn’t dead.” And she took off running down the steps and around the back.
    I looked at Trae, and he shook his finger at me as if to say, I told you so.
KYRA
    I was so glad to be released from the hospital. The room was beginning to creep me out. I was seeing images of a black Jesus everywhere.
    “Kyra, are you all right?” Rick snapped me out of my daze.
    “I think I’m okay, just a little nervous. At first, I didn’t have contact with anyone. I didn’t know who or where anyone was. Now, just like that, I’m getting ready to see my daughter and my friends. I don’t remember what Tasha looks like, but I remember her voice. I’m overwhelmed.” I sat rolling the tissue in my hand.
    “You should be. It’s only natural. But it’s going to be all right. Tasha can’t wait for you to show up. Trust me. You’re going to be fine.” Rick came over to me and stood by my side.
    He took my hands and pulled me to my feet. I thought about what he said. It’s going to be all right . All right? I hadn’t even dealt with my issues regarding him. He told me everything. He, who had a fiancée and a baby on the way. All right ? How could I be all right with him, when I want to keep him all to myself? What was to become of the relationship we once had was still to be determined. What was I supposed to do? Tell him to just up and leave his family? From the little bits and pieces he shared with me, he seemed to be pretty committed. And truth be told, I still had a husband. What was I going to do when I saw Marvin?
    It seemed that with each mile we rode in the car, my heart became heavier and heavier. Things were moving too fast. But now that they were moving, I was unsure of everything. Would my daughter be angry with me for leaving her? Would I be able to piece my family back together? And what scared me the most: would I be able to piece my broken self back together? I was in deep thought the entire ride.
    “Okay, we are here.” Rick interrupted my thinking as he pulled into the driveway.
    “Oh, no. We are here already?” I heard the panic in my own voice.
    “Kyra, you’re going to be fine.” He turned off the engine.
    I could feel my palms getting sweaty, but when he jumped out of the car, my ass felt as if it was glued to the seat. Just as more panic started to set in, the front door came open, and my daughter yelled out, “Mommy!” She jumped off the porch, and that’s when my body took over. I pushed the car door open, my legs swung around, and I jumped out of the car. “Mommy!” she screamed.
    “Aisha!” I ran to meet her, and we hugged, falling onto the lawn. I was kissing my baby all over her cheeks and face. “Look at you! You are beautiful.” We hugged some more, and I was living in the moment.
    My daughter said, “I’m sorry I left you, Mommy.”
    “You didn’t leave me, baby. Don’t think like that.”
    “Yes, I did. I left you, Mommy. I’m sorry.” She began to cry.
    “Baby . . .” I couldn’t hold back the tears. She really thinks that she left me . How long had she been carrying that burden on her little shoulders? What if I was dead and gone? “Aisha, Mommy is fine. I love you, I missed you, and we won’t be separated again. I won’t leave you, and you won’t leave me. Do we have a