How To Avoid Death On A Daily Basis: Book Two by V. Moody Page A

firing range to hone your skills was apparently not something anyone had suggested to him. I planned to come here for the next several days and get good. Or at least, less terrible.
     
    Having finally got everything we needed, I turned to the girls and said, “Right, that should do us for now. You can use the money you have left to buy whatever useless crap you want.”
     
    Both girls looked shocked. It didn’t take long for them to recover, though. They dropped everything they were carrying and ran off making strange squealing sounds.
     
    They came back with their arms full of hopelessly impractical stuff. Lace dresses, weird hats, silk scarves and all sorts of nasty cheap jewellry. They were panting, their faces were red and their mouths were fixed in huge grins. For the first time ever, I’d managed to make two women orgasm at the same time.

14. Man On A Mission
     
    We spent the rest of the week exploring Fengarad. There were various interesting places in the lanes and side streets, including a red light district any red-blooded male would have investigated fully. Needless to say, the three of us got horribly embarrassed at the first sight of a scantily clad woman giving us the come hither, and we swiftly came up with excuses to head off to some other part of the city.
     
    We might not have acted quite so scared if she hadn’t looked like Steve Buscemi in drag. Who am I kidding? Of course we would.
     
    The girls, oblivious as ever, had no idea why the woman wanted to speak to us in private. The only thing of interest to them was where she’d purchased her bikini top.
     
    I eventually convinced the others we should split up, or at least, I should split up from them. We were familiar enough with the layout of the city that I didn’t think they’d get lost, and as long as they were together they wouldn’t get into too much trouble. Probably. I just needed a little time off from playing Dad.
     
    They were a bit nervous going off on their own, mainly because of the problem with reading signs and street names. Out of the group, I was by far the best at reading. This was because on our journey to Fengarad, while they had been chatting and getting to know each other, I had spent my time studying the book Grayson had given us.
     
    I could now recognise most words without having to spell them out phonetically. They, on the other hand, knew each other’s favourite colours.
     
    Having to rely on themselves would be good for them, and it wasn’t like they would face any danger in the middle of the city. Our main goal was just to learn where everything was and to dig up any cool places that might be worth further investigation. We were basically tourists. Even they couldn’t get themselves killed sightseeing.
     
    My routine was to wake up early and go to the public baths which I had discovered. No, it wasn’t a pickup joint for gays. Or maybe it was, but no one propositioned me—which was both a relief and very depressing. I looked forward to encountering elves and dwarves so they could reject me, too.
     
    After my nice long soak (alone), I’d go to the Emporium and spend an hour or so shooting arrows.
     
    After a couple of days, I had to make a booking for these sessions, as others had started to want to use the alleyway. The bow salesman, whose name was Temel, had started a side business in archery training, bringing in a cousin who was a soldier to offer guidance, and business was booming. I got a lesson for free, seeing as how I was the one that made this lucrative new venture possible, and was informed that pretty much everything I was doing was wrong.
     
    Can’t say I was surprised. He corrected my poor posture and grip and my aim improved. Slightly.
     
    I would spend the rest of the day poking about in the city, returning to the inn in the evening. Over dinner, we’d exchange information. A lot of Flossie’s and Claire’s reports revolved around where to find the best bargains, and I could see the