How to Say I Love You Out Loud by Karole Cozzo Page B

I wasn’t gonna stay out there and enjoy the party.”
    He doesn’t wait for a response before shoving his hands in his pockets and turning and leaving me for good.

Chapter Six
    There’s no point in him hanging around, because what am I supposed to say to that anyway?
    His words from just moments earlier ring in my head.
    “I’m sure everyone’s moved on.”
    This is the truth and about more than a stupid conversation around the bonfire.
    Alex has no business hinting at our past now that he’s with Leighton. He can’t just say these things to me . . . and then walk back to her.
    Renewed tears, fueled by frustration and regret, fill my eyes.
    The last time Alex and I had wandered away from a group at a bonfire . . . he’d kissed me.
    One more secret I never allude to, another reality I keep locked away and closely guarded.
    I crane my neck, able to make out frenzied sparks of the fire leaping high into the air between the trees. Then I conjure up the memory of last summer’s staff party, which is something I
don’t allow myself to do very often. If I did, there’s no way I could go on being “just friends” with Alex Colby.
     

    The guys from the grounds crew spent a lot of time assisting with the special-needs camp, Camp Hope, which was housed at the tennis club every summer. They carted large
boxes of supplies on the backs of their golf carts, manned the grill for us for Friday picnic lunches, and pulled the vans—the large white ones equipped with wheelchair lifts—around
front before community outings.
    Few of the guys bothered to establish eye contact, their discomfort around the kids with various disabilities pretty obvious. I sensed that they wanted to get off the campgrounds and back to
the golf course as quickly as possible.
    Alex was the exception.
    I noticed him right away, but what girl wouldn’t have? Dressed in sneakers, camo cargo shorts, and a gray tank top, his biceps and shoulders tensed and his skin, darkened to the shade
of honey, glistened as he toted box after heavy box as we set up for camp. When he caught me staring, he smiled at me for the first time, lifting those beautiful deep eyes in greeting above the top
of the box. I think I almost melted into a puddle at his feet, 92 percent humidity notwithstanding.
    He tried to pull his chivalrous crap when I followed him back to the van to help with the gigantic boxes of paper towels, but I held my ground and eventually he shook his head and chuckled.
I introduced myself, and he assessed me.
    “Suit yourself then, Michaelson.” He grinned. “Thanks for the help.”
    I instantly loved the sound of my name leaving Alex’s lips.
    When we were done, both dripping with sweat, he fished two icy water bottles out of a cooler in the back of the van and encouraged me to sit down beside him on its floor. We exchanged the
basics, and then he asked me a more pointed question.
    “So you’re gonna be a sophomore at Valley Forge,” he mused. “How come you’re working at this camp and not the other one?”
    “What do you mean?” I asked.
    He smirked and shook his head. “The girls from school who work camp always choose the ‘other’ camp. With the so-called normal kids. Then they get to spend most of the day
at the pool, and they get to go on better field trips. It’s a helluva lot easier, right?” Alex gestured in the direction of the other counselors and administrators working at Camp Hope
with me. “Most of the people who want to work at this camp, they’re older. More serious.”
    I didn’t have a great answer for him. “I don’t know.” I shrugged. “This just seemed like the obvious choice to me.”
    Alex nodded knowingly, like something suddenly made sense. “Oh, so you want to be a special education teacher or something like that? Nurse, maybe?”
    I found myself laughing, because I didn’t want that at all. “No, it’s not that. Like I said, it just seemed like the obvious choice.”
    I felt his gaze upon me,