powerfully afraid it would be all over before we had our chance to see it. Fools. Young fools, the pair of us, and Iâm an old fool for remembering how important it all felt; how necessary . We needed to go, Artie and me, we felt it that strongly.â
He nodded.
âBoth our parents died of the fever just a month before and the bank took the farm for taxes. Bastards. There was nothing keeping us, so I cut my hair and Artie gave me some of his clothes to wear. We were that close in size. Twins we were, as alike as any brother and sister might be and tall for our age. We walked for three days to get to the recruitment center, and just before we went inside, we took some chalk and wrote the number 18 on the soles of our boots.â She chuckled. âYou remember that trick? Over 18?â
âI remember it.â
âThey were pretty desperate for troops by then and we went out fast. We didnât have much training, but then, we didnât need much. We both knew how to shoot already. Most farm kids did in those days. Not so much now. So much has changed. I guess itâs for the better. Thatâs what they tell me, anyway.â
Her gaze grew far away. âThe battles all had names, but I think they gave them names afterwards. It was all the same to us. There was mud everywhere so thick it would pull a body down right before your eyes and there was nothing you could do to save them.â She hunkered in her blankets, her expression bleak. âI havenât thought about that time for many years. Havenât talked about it either. But you were there, you saw it, so you know. No one knows I was there, you see, no one, and I didnât tell no one neither, not even afterwards.â
âAll the battles had names,â she repeated. âNamed after the places they fought them at. Those that died there, well, the battles and the places became theirs for all eternity.â She snorted. âI heard a minister say that once years ago. I suppose itâs true. Artieâs place was Ors. Did you see Ors?â
âI saw them all.â
He closed his eyes as one single line of memories rushed over him. Lying on his belly in the darkness, unable to move his legs, unable to cry for help. Already the mud had a hold of him, pulling him towards his grave. One arm was trapped under his body wrapped in wire, but the other one was free enough to reach out towards the lights of camp so far away.
Too far away.
When he opened his eyes, she was watching him with a knowing expression.
âNo one came,â she said simply.
He shook his head. âNo one knew I was there and no one could have made it even if they had. The shelling was too fierce.â
The sound of it filled the room and he pressed his palms against his ears to block it out, but it was coming from inside, not outside, and so he dropped his hands again and saw her do the same. Sheâd heard it, sheâd known it. There was no need to describe it.
âThey came for Artie,â she said after a moment. âThe medics came for him, but it was too late. It had been too late right from the beginning. A shell took both his legs and he bled to death in my arms almost at once. But not before he made me promise to go on living. I held him and I promised and they came for him and carried him away.â
She slumped, her energy spent. âI almost left the war right then,â she said. âI couldâve; no one wouldâve been the wiser, but I saw his body back to camp and went back out. I did my duty. We both did, though for the life of me now I canât imagine why. The next day I learned theyâd signed the armistice. Years later than they shouldâve. Bastards.â She shook her head. âMatter of hours and he wouldâve been safe.â She swiped irritably at her eyes.
âI walked out after that,â she said. âI found a house and I broke in. I traded my uniform for a dress and a