I Hope You Find Me by Trish Marie Dawson Page A

kind of smile
that could truly bewitch most men, the straight ones at least. The
shape of her body was alluring but she didn’t flaunt it. In fact,
she seemed to go out of her way to hide it - covering her curves
with jeans and loose fitting sweat-shirts or baggy tops, but Connor
had still noticed. She had an inner strength that pulsated through
her personality, marking her as a damaged woman, but a woman who
would never give up, which also made her extremely attractive to
him.
    She hadn’t told him anything of her life
before the day they met, but he knew on the pier she was
fascinating, and it wasn’t because she was the first live thing he
found amidst all the death festering around him. There was
something about her that made him forget what he had lost. When he
sat near her, he almost felt like he would be okay. He wanted that,
needed that feeling, but it came with a sharp pang of guilt.
Because across the land of the country he was now marooned on, and
over the vast expanse of ocean water, there was a little boy, his
own little boy, and he was probably dead, as was his mother.
    He couldn’t force the images of his innocent
little Roan and his ex out of his mind. He rolled onto his stomach
and punched his pillow until his face was efficiently buried in it
and he wept silently for the son he would never see again.
     
    ***
     
    The day started when Zoey jumped onto the
bed, whining at my feet. I had curled up under the covers but was
unable to fall back to sleep after Matt and Mariah left. The
curtains were drawn tightly closed so the only clue that it was
daytime was the faint line of light along the ground below the
window. I rose from the bed slowly, and it took a considerable
amount of force to make my feet move. The blur of the last few days
had clouded up my mind. I was afraid to sleep; for fear that
nightmares would haunt me. I felt secure with Connor but at the
same time confused about how I felt about him, and now there were
two new people down the hall.
    I decided to shower before taking Zoey
outside. She gave me a displeased look and forced a sneeze when I
passed the bedroom door and went straight into the bathroom,
shutting myself inside. Fat droplets of water burst from the silver
showerhead, pelting the glass doors with a sort of rhythmic and
excited frenzy as I draped my clean clothes across the long marble
counter top. I brushed my teeth while the steam from the shower
began to fill the large bathroom. The hot water was something of a
gift, but I kept the shower short, and dried my hair again before
dressing. When I opened the door, the steamy smell of my shampoo
filled the bedroom and almost covered up the stench of fresh
dog shit.
    The offender was nowhere to be seen. But in
the furthest corner of the room, just in front of the draped
windows, there it sat, one little dog turd.
    “Zoey!” I hollered loudly at her, forgetting
that Connor had gone to sleep just hours before. When she didn’t
come, I stalked out of my room, ready to scold her.
    “Zoey, come here. ” I said sternly to
the empty sitting room. I walked to Connor’s room and looked
inside. The bed was empty and the master bathroom was dark. I
realized he must have taken her outside himself and guilt washed
over me. I rushed back to my room and pulled my converse over my
naked feet and shoved the extra keypad into my back pocket. I
yanked the door open and stepped into the hall, turned to my right,
and walked straight into Matt’s chest.
    “Shit!” I gasped, into his cotton t-shirt. He
smelled freshly showered and his face was clean-shaven.
    Matt had gripped my arms when I stumbled into
him and slid his hands down to my elbows to steady me. When I
looked up he had a big goofy grin on his face, but the darkness of
his eyes unnerved me.
    “Sorry,” I mumbled, “I didn’t see you.” I
leaned away from him but his grip stayed firm on my elbows.
    “Where are you off to, so early in the
morning?” He asked in a teasing voice. “You